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Monday, 26 August 2013

5lbs down, a billion to go

I need to go back to my GP at some point. I was meant to go in May? Maybe June.. Whichever it was, it was before summer started. I should make an appointment at some point but knowing me, I probably won't end up going back until October or November. I always have to mentally prepare myself for going to see him  for some reason.

I bailed on my 'friends' today when they asked if I wanted to go out with them. As of late, the idea of going out for drinks just doesn't interest me. Plus the people that invited me out aren't really the kind of 'friends' I want to spend time with any more. It only took nine months to figure that out. I've successfully avoided them all summer though and only saw them for an hour on results day. So I've done absolutely nothing today which doesn't bother me in the slightest. I haven't got the energy to do anything anyway.

I was at a relatives house earlier which was kind of torture. I ended up just going to sleep in the guest room for the majority of the day. I'd forgotten how annoying it is to be somewhere where people are cooking and always eating. Even when I'm not fasting or restricting, I very rarely cook things. I think it's because I like to be absolutely certain about calories although there are times when I love nothing more than to cook everything. Still, when I'm cooking, it's more likely that I'm steaming some veggies or something. Nothing that fills the entire house with smells.

I have absolutely no idea what else to write. I started this with things in my mind to talk about but that was hours ago and now all I want to do is go to bed. :-P

Take care
xxxx


Sunday, 25 August 2013

I've got issues

It's been a while since I last updated. I was either just about to do my exams or had just done the, when I last did a post. Either way, it was probably June the last time I wrote anything. 

Well, I got my results on Thursday. It's now, like, Sunday? An hour into Sunday, anyway.


These were my results: A* in English language, A in English Literature (how the heck I did that is beyond me!), A in Science and C in Maths.

So I didn't fail which was good. Well I failed Additional Science since I had to drop it because it clashed with appointments, but no utterly horrendous results. Bit annoyed about Maths because I got a C last year and now have to do it again this year toget a minimum of a B (for medical school), but to be honest, I totally gave up with Maths this year because the teacher was absolutely terrible!

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I guess I should update and things. College starts again really soon which will be good because I'm utterly bored. May until September off is far too long. I enrolled at college on Thursday though and saw all my old tutors which was oddly nice. They've really grown on me so it's a good thing they are still part of the course I start soon. 

My English language tutor told me in person and on twitter that she was proud of me not giving up on the course which is something I desperately wanted to do, and for getting good grades. It felt so weird to have someone say they're proud of me. No one has actually ever said that to me before. 

It's funny how I always get super close to tutors I never thought I would even get along with never mind tell things to!

What else is new? 
Oh, I'm getting braces! Yes, I'm almost 21 and getting braces, haha. My orthodontist is so cute which is a nice perk to having to have braces. I have to have two perfectly healthy teeth out though in around two weeks and I'm really not looking forward to it. I've already had two out because of the ED. I guess I should be using spending £3000 as a reason to stop purging, but these days, the only time I don't purge is if I'm not eating which is why I've been fasting since Monday. 


I managed to get up to my highest ever weight over the summer holidays which was a feat, even for me. Since I have two or three weeks until  I 'properly' start college, I'm attempting to lose as much weight as possible by then. I bought a new bike and renewed my gym membership so I'm pretty much spending my days downing water and working out. Not the healthiest thing, but what part of having an eating disorder is healthy?

It's weigh in day tomorrow though since I limited myself to only using the scale on a Sunday (new day of the week) so that I don't drive myself absolutely crazy over the numbers. So I guess I'll get to see how good or bad this week has been to the numbers. :-/

How's everyone's summer been? Are you all looking forward to going back to school or college?

Take care
xxxx