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Thursday, 1 November 2012

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween guys. I hope you're all having fun. I slept through it because I had a tooth pulled this morning, yesterday I guess (thank you ED!). So I slept through it after cancelling my plans. Boo!

So, I think I have figured things out, though. In terms of education and things. I think I am going to do a Biology degree before medical school. I think I might do the MBiol, BSc Biology (Integrated Masters) course after my A levels. I've always said I want to be 80% recovered/okay before going to medical and that isn't something I see happening in the next 2 years.

I wrote this about a week ago:

"I was sat here the other night and just, just wanted to end everything. For it all to just stop and be over. I hate it when my thoughts are like that. It scares me so much. It scares me that it feels so easy to just do it. The first time I attempted it, it was the hardest decision I had made at that point. With each attempt, it seems to have gotten easier in some ways, I guess."

Reading that back makes me realise how I am never going to sort things out in 2 years and I would honestly be terrified going to medical school and being in control of other people's lives when mine is so messed up. I think it would be pretty irresponsible, too.

So Biology degree before medical degree. That's the plan. I still need the same A levels and grades to study Biology anyway so it's not like I have to change anything.

I'm off back to bed because my mouth hurts, I'm hungry but can't eat and I'm super tired for once.

Take care
xxxx

4 comments:

  1. It will all come in time. It happened slowly and leaves the same way :/

    Ouch, poor you! Having teeth pulled sucks. I hope it heals quickly!

    <3

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  2. Ugh, tooth pain is the worst. And it just gets worse with eating disorders. I think your plan for a degree is not only a good one, but a smart one. I, too, couldn't put someone else's life in my hands when I have no control of mine. I hope you get to feeling better soon sweetie. XOXO Katie
    http://stealingmyselfbackfromana.blogspot.com/

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  3. I think doing another degree before medical school is so wise - I am doing a masters in public health, and thought I'd want to go to medical school after the first masters program (health communication) that I was in. While doing the first degree (I didn't finish, I just switched disciplines), I realized medical school wasn't what I truly wanted anyway. You may find the same thing, or you may just put some good education under your belt and be that much more mature and ready for med school by the time you get to it.

    Anyway, bravo miss. Hope your mouth is feeling better!

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  4. Sounds like a good plan. :) And I think the fact that you thought that through to make that decision means you CAN sort things out. Maybe in 2 years, maybe more, or maybe less. Don't rush yourself. <3
    xoxo

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