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Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Stuck here

I was meant to be flying home tomorrow since it is my exam results day is on Thursday, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon. I won't be back until next week at the earliest (long, long story) which has left me so pissed off. I'm ready to leave. I really wanted to know my exam results too, so that's frustrating. I just don't want to spend another week here. I've been away from home all summer and all I want to do is settle back into a normal routine. A routine that is normal to me, at least. 

Right now, the only thing going for this place is the weather.

I'm more annoyed at the fact I will be missing results day. I've been dreading yet looking forward to it. I was more looking forward to seeing everyone. I found out P* has applied for the same course as me starting in September and I somewhat hope she is in my class. Even if she is annoying. We got along okay enough to be in the same class again.

I enrol on the 3rd of September. That means I have 13(?) days to lose as much weight as possible. It shouldn't be too hard since I haven't got an appetite. I did feel like bingeing today, but since my bank is being retarded (the main reason I am not coming home tomorrow), I gave up on that idea. It's funny how I either turn to food when stressed or just completely boycott it. 13 days is a long time, though. I probably won't start until the 10th or so. At least I hope not. I still have to buy all my supplies and clothes. I haven't done any back to college shopping at all so I will have to do all of that when I get back.

I've been browsing Forever 21 and places and have seen so many clothes I want *need* to buy, but I don't want to until I've lost a minimum of 20lbs. I don't want to spend a fortune on clothes just for them to not fit me in a month or so because that is utterly frustrating and a total waste of money. I've probably wasted so much money on clothes that only fit me for a couple of weeks which explains why I have clothes in 3 or 4 different sizes in my wardrobe.

I want to dress completely different this year. Last year was okay, but I never wore what I would normally wear every day to college. I have no idea why, but yeah. This year I actually am going to wear things I would ordinarily wear. It's a bit stupid not to and my regular style is so much better than what I wore last year. :P Same with my make up and hair. 

New school year, ditch the old school me.

I've literally become obsessed with hair and make up videos on YouTube. I think this displays the fact I have far too much spare time, but I do have a billion ideas for how to do my hair. I want to carry on laying off the heat like I have been this summer because it's done my hair so much good. It's grown a lot, too. It's around 3 inches longer than when I last got it cut and it doesn't even need cutting again. I've noticed it's slightly wavy when I have it natural these days which I like. It used to be super straight which probably had something to do with straightening it daily. I've also noticed it's kinda gingery/brown since I haven't dyed it in nearly a year. It must be the Scottishness.

I need a new camera when I get back as well. Random thought, but it's about time I got around to replacing my old Nikon. Mainly because I have no idea where it is, haha. I miss taking amazing pictures, though. The iPhone just doesn't compare to a proper camera. I used to make videos on it, too. That was way back when I had a vlog thing, though. That was so long ago.

Anyway. I was down 2.6lbs this morning which means I have lost 4ish pounds this week. I've gotten back into the workout routine and went running this morning. I didn't stay out longer than 30 minutes because it is extremely warm. I think it was over 25 degrees when I gave in and went back. Plus I didn't want to push it since I hadn't eaten. Still haven't since I intend on fasting until I go home. Normally I wouldn't care about working out whilst fasting, but adding the heat into the mix and general tiredness from the lack of sleep and it isn't the most perfect situation. 

The sleep issue is more bothersome. Up until yesterday, I hadn't slept in 40 hours. It was horrendous. I only got 3 hours sleep when I managed to drop off. I hate how my insomnia always gets worse when there is no possible way to see my GP. I swear it knows when I am not home and then decides to strike.

Lots of rambling and I have so much to say, but I think I am going to attempt to sleep. It's worth a shot.

Take care
xxxx

5 comments:

  1. I love fresh starts. New seasons, new months, new school years, any time is an awesome time to try and re-invent yourself. Good luck!

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  2. have you tried some of the over the counter drugs. Insomnia is awful and those drugs aren't great, but some of them do work... I have stress insomnia, and when I put aside a long period of time to sleep (8 hours anyway) and then you go for a lot less. Makes me want to hurt something. Xo

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  3. That must be so frustrating not being able to get your exam results. Could they not mail them to you, or is there no one back at home who can get them for you and tell you how you did?
    You've just made me realise that I'm so similar to you. I also wear different clothes and do hair and makeup differently when I go to school. I've got two weeks to prepare and then next year I want to reinvent myself.
    I love new starts, and a new school year is perfect to finally do everything you've always wanted.
    Good luck, hope you have a good last week away.

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  4. Grrrr I understand your frustration about results day.

    I've been looking at more hair stuff too, since I'm not going clothes shopping until I'm back under 60kg. WHY are there so many cool ideas on YouTube? WHY???? Do you follow Gossmakeupartist? He does amazing product reviews and advice stuff as well as the how-tos.

    I hope you get some decent sleep soon. Want me to come bore you to sleep with talking about knitting?

    Love you <3

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  5. <3 I love catching up on your posts, knowing what you're doing, and how you're doing.

    Take care darling, you're so very wonderful!

    x
    Bella.

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