Sunday, 18 March 2012


Last night was really fun. I went out with friends for St Patrick's Day (going back out tonight actually) and it was really good.

Apart from ONE thing.

There was tutors of mine in the same bar! Yeah, I really did not want to drink. Or get drunk in case I did something stupid. I got over it eventually though. It's actually not the first time I've been in a bar with a tutor. I live near my old high school one and former college tutor (different college to the current one) and see them often which is strange.

I did, however, forget how much of a bad idea it is to eat something after a long period of time not eating. Honestly, I think taking laxatives would have been much easier on my stomach. Still, good night. :)

I got my hair cut on Tuesday. Nearly 6 inches off. Since I am growing it out and not dying it, I figured I might as well get a different cut and let it grow healthy. Although I miss not being able to fully braid or curl it, it's so soft! However, according to people in my class, I look even more like my English tutor. I do miss my hair a little though. At least it takes less time to do it in a morning is what I am reminding myself.

I think I am going to go back to fasting tomorrow. Especially after this weekend. I am absolutely stuffed and feel all blah.

I realised how much things have changed today. From this time last year to now. Everything is just so different and some of that is good. Some is definitely good. Some is... Just yeah. Requires far too much thinking and time. The latter of the two I don't have right now lol.

Take care

Sunday, 11 March 2012

You've got to love friends

I'm ill. Again. I've caught whatever it is my friend has/had and it's not nice. My throat, chest and head feel like they are going to drop off haha. It's so dumb, but I realised that when R* last gave me whatever it was she had, I lost 8lbs, and it sort of made me happy to be ill. Like I said, so dumb.

We got told we have two exams coming up. Mock Maths and the real ISA one for Science. The Science one is going to be annoying because the experiment itself is around 2-2.5 hours. Then there is a 45 minute written part to it. Plus, we've never even been to the Science labs. Sounds stupid since we do science, but we have never had a Science lesson in our campus. We go to a different one which is really dumb. It has no technicians either so we've not even done an experiment. We seem to be expected to remember this shit from high school.

I also have my last English assessment on Thursday which is good. I need to get my mark back from my practice one on Wednesday though. I actually think it will be a 14 or 15 because I included everything I was meant to. Hopefully if it is, I'll just write a plan piggy backing on that paper and try to memorize half the stuff for the next day. I'm doing mine on a Shakespeare sonnet though (it's poetry) and Shakespeare is my thing, so I am definitely not worried about that. I considered doing it on a poem by Philip Larkin but I think I would have too much to write on that and not enough time to do so.

I've become addicted to tea lately. It used to be all about the coffee and now all I seem to drink is tea. Tea and water. I guess I am fitting the stereotype of a typical Brit, huh? I drink a lot of tea and talk about the weather a lot. It could be worse.

All that is on my mind lately is calories, weight and exams. Especially exams and all the stuff related to that. I keep think about after this year, my course next year and A levels. Like, medical school and things. It's so stressful to actually think about everything you need and all the non academic things. Why did I never want to do a simple course? I do think my back up thing to do will be English though if for some reason I can't get into medical school or decide I don't want to do it or get rejected more than once etc. I'd enjoy doing English if I couldn't study Medicine. Not as much as Medicine, but it would be alright I think. I wouldn't be unhappy spending 3 years doing that and an extra year doing a teaching thing... I never used to worry about these things. I'm not even the type of person to worry majorly about exams or grades or having a back up plan or... anything! Now it seems to be the main thing stressing me out. Adulthood is a pain in the bloody arse. All this responsibility and things.

I hate not weighing myself on the weekends. It's actually really annoying to not know the numbers from Friday until Tuesday. Motivating, but I'd love to know the numbers. It's nice to be losing again though and seeing the numbers get smaller each day. I keep setting mini goals to reach. If I can reach one of my goals by or before the 30th, I shall get my nose pierced. I'm determined to get it pierced because I always say I will but I never do.

Take care

Saturday, 3 March 2012

They went really well

I hope!

I found the exams really easy though, so hopefully all that revision and no sleep pays off on the 19th of April when I get my results.

Quite nervous now!

I only figured out how to do chemical equations in the exam itself lol. When I told Umesh he just laughed.

I went to the counselling place on Thursday with a completely open mind.
It went really, really well. I didn't think it would to be honest.
I've heard way too many horror stories, but it was okay.

I still can't say I have an eating disorder or any of that stuff out loud though.
I just can't get it out. It's quite stupid really.
But if I say it out loud, then it is real. And I don't think I like the fact or can handle the fact it is real despite knowing it is.

She psycho-analysed my arse though and got everything pretty much spot on!
It scared me!
Christine has the ability to do that too.
Scary is the only word for it.

All I've done today is write an amazing essay on Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 and study Biology.

Finally on Biology!

I got an A* on the old Biology tests online when I did them last night and that is with no studying. 36/36 and 33/36. Biology is my subject along with English. They both require no studying to get a good grade.
Which reminds me, I got an A* on my essay on Romeo and Juliet! I was so pleased about it. Shakespeare is definitely my strongest point in English. I love him.

I hope everyone is well. I've been reading blogs and feel I have missed quite a lot.

Take care