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Monday, 19 December 2011

Drunken whatever

I never blogged again. I think my New Years resolution needs to be to blog daily and not put it off.

I hate the holidays.
I hate the fact they revolve around food.
I hate the fact it is fricking freezing.
I hate the fact they are just about spending stupid amounts of money on people you aren't even keen on.
I just hate the holidays.

I'm not all bah humbug or anything. I don't like Easter or Halloween for pretty much the same reasons. I still celebrate them though because it would be slightly weird not to. Still, I sort of can't wait to go back to college and have my days filled up with the same ordinary shit over and over.

David and a few others are coming over in a wee while with alcohol and movies. :) Such a lovely boyfriend lol. So lovely. I do like the holidays for the fact I get to spend more time with people I like.

I've decided that when I lose 11kg I can ask for more help for the bulimia. I hate bulimia, yet purging... Purging gives me, I don't know about other bulimics, but it gives me a feeling of comfort. I think that is why the purging has always been a part of my ED. Even when the labels and diagnosis's have been different, purging in one form or another has always been there. I cant imagine it not being a part of my eating disorder. Like, in a sense, the thought of not purging is just as scary as not having an ED.

^^ Haha I should write that down to tell my doctor actually. I can be so much more honest once I am not sober. Still as anxious and that, but much more honest. I might try writing things down and handing it in at the surgery before our next appointment. That way it is easier.

I just read one of the nicest things on Facebook.
85 percent of people wish that they were perfect. 75 percent of the people who know those people, already think they are. Don't ever wish you were someone else because chances are, there is someone out there wishes they were you.

 So cute!

Take care
xxxx

7 comments:

  1. Oh that is super cute!
    And I agree! I hate the holidays because of all the food, and the eating, and basically everything you mentioned... I do LOVE the holiday spirit though. I love christmas carols and decorations, I love dressing up at Halloween, and so on, but I think that if I were more comfortable with my body, I'd love the holidays so much more!
    Your boyfriend sounds like a doll! have fun tonight! xo<3

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  2. Purging does weird things to your biochemistry that can make it very addictive. (Or so the medicos say)

    Thats a good idea, writing things down so you remember to say them. Can I borrow it?

    Love you, take care and stay warm, ok?

    <3

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  3. Mjeh.. I think ppl have ttly forgotten about why we have the holidays..

    take care and try to enjoy your time off.


    <3

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  4. Aww that is cute :)
    I don't u derstand the purging because I don't do it, but at the same time I sort of get where you're coming from :) I think it's a good idea for you to write this down for the doctor :)
    Oh and I love the way you say wee :) I think Scottish accents on guys are really sexy :P
    Lottie x

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  5. sounds like a lovely time with your boyfriend :) yay.
    I hope you have good holidays :D

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  6. You're lovely, chin up :)
    xxx

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  7. Holidays are indeed depressing - school's coming up fast though :)

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