Thursday, 29 September 2011

The twenty-ninth

I have really bad anxiety today. My heart feels like it is going to come out of my chest.
Maybe it's the purging instead. :/ I do still feel like the room is spinning even though I am sat down.
No, it's the anxiety still.

I haven't blogged in days! I meant to last night but it was my 'friend's' 19th and I felt obliged to go out with them. It was quite fun actually even though I didn't drink anything alcoholic. You know when you are just not in the mood to drink but you also sort of are? Yeah.

Yesterday was such a bizarre day. A girl in my class doing a story thing on someone with anorexia but didn't even understand/know what eating disorders are didn't help. It's so hard not to actually blurt out everything about my ED when people are so fricking stupid and ignorant about them. it would help to actually know something about the thing your report is going to be based on. Alas, that is why I decided to do mine on medicine. :P I'm good at writing about medical things. It was that, or eating disorders. I was feeling up to writing about eating disorders in the first person. Too close to home.

Ooh! I am now a brunette! It still has a tint of auburn in like my natural colour does, but it's darker I think. I think I am going to leave it dark for a while, get it cut and then grow it out. It's getting to the length where curls can actually sit comfortably in it so it is about time to lay off the hair dye and let it be healthy.
I miss been ginger though. I actually love that hair colour.

I'll reply to comments in a wee while. I need to finish my English stuff which I would have done in class if I hadn't left early (by the way, interview went alright. It was (ironically) with somebody I used to work with which was nice.) this afternoon.
Plus I want a nap lol. I feel old saying that but not going to bed until 03:30 and waking up just before 05:00 for college isn't easy on the body. Even more so with the ridiculously hot weather the UK is getting right now. It's enough to make the average person want to pass out. So put all the ED stuff and that into a pot with super hot weather and it's not a good combo lol. Hot weather in September... Madness!

Take care


  1. totally agree..this hot weather isn't the one! hope you're ok, xo.

  2. The weather is horrible I agree. I love how people always say they want warm weather and then when they get it, they hate it. :P

    Take care of your pretty self and post pictures of the brown hair. :) xxx

  3. I haven't drank anything in so long! I'm kind of scared too.. =/ They are empty calories, but they are really fun empty calories.

    Haha I can't stand people who don't know what they are talking about. I feel like if it's a report you need to actually look into it and if it's in a conversation you need to know what you are talking about or shut up because you just look stupid.

    I have auburn hair, too. lol It's like a light auburn. I could never color it a different color. I love it so much.

  4. Hey! I don't know why it took me so long to find your blog!! But here I am.

    LOL friend in quotes... Awesome. I hope it was an okay night. And good job staying away from the booze! I feel like it helps with my anxiety.. but then I'm probs just avoiding my problems. And the ED discussion in class thing... wow. That's extremely frustrating. And upsetting.

    I was wondering about your juice/liquid fasting routine. Do you count during a juice fast? And if so what's the limit you keep to?
    Hope you're able to get some sleep! Take care of yourself.


  5. Aww sorry to hear about the anxiety but that's good you had fun at your friends :)

    Oh that girl sounds like show would've annoyed me! I think anorexia is something that only someone who has/had it can really understand :/ that's fair why you wouldn't wanna do it on EDs, medicine sounds good though :)

    Awww your hair sounds nice :) and keeping it healthy for a bit sounds good! My friend messed up her hair with all the hair dye she used on it.

    I'm glad the interview went well! :) and I love naps, nothing "old" about them :)

    Ikr, this weathers crazy! I'm wearing the summer-est thing I have (though it's still not very summery...) we're meant to have snow in a few weeks too :|

    Hope the anxiety isn't so bad today, xxxxxxx

    Ps sorry I said a levels last post, I forgot you're doing gcses.

  6. People like that make me want to rage SO HARD. I get away with correcting people by going "You know I blog about having a mental illness, right? Well some of my blog-mates' mental illnesses are EDs, and one blahblahblah." Lol, pathetic cop-out, non?

    OMG do we get pics of your new hair colour? Lol, you don't have to show face, an Emo Tard pic will do :p

    You reminded me that I need dye desperately. I have a years' worth of regrowth :x It looks awful!


  7. Oh no- I really hope you're okay physically :S

    I know the feeling when you don't want to drink- sometimes I think the ED shit makes that a lot worse 'cos you know you'd pass out if you had alcohol!

    Euurgh I hate when people talk about ED's when they have, zero idea what they're talking about! Argh! Good for you that you didn't end up shouting at her- I would've!

    I love medical things too :)

    The hair sounds really, really pretty too :) and a bit wintery- winwin! :D

    I definitely agree about the weather- rather annoying!!!

    Take care xxxxx

  8. I would LOVE hot weather here!
    You sleep only 2 hours per day? That's crazy. I'm not able to function if I get less then 8 hours of sleep!

  9. Only some parts of the Uk lol, it's raining in Scotland =( as usual. Urgh, I hate when you want to inform someone about ED's because they don't seem to know what they are talking about at all but you can't without revealing you have one so you just have to feign ignorance. So frustrating ! ? of the hair ? Maybe ? lol