Wednesday, 7 September 2011

The seventh

College went pretty good. It's a small class and the tutor is lovely so I can't complain. She has the same name as me too lol. Well she has my name I originally had (I got it changed legally quite a few years ago, I just don't have any extra copies of the deed thing so I can change it to the name I changed it to. Make sense? I should get some spares so I can change it at some point..). Everyone is younger than me apart from Alistar (who is lovely and I think that is how you spell his name) and ironically, he wants to study medicine too so we'll most likely be in the same classes until university.

Telling her (Christine) and Emma went... It was so much harder than telling my doctor for some reason. I almost forgot until Emma called me back and then it hit me. I still couldn't say it out loud so I ended up writing it down. I explained that I hadn't really said it to anybody and when I do say it out loud, it sounds so serious. We ended up talking for 20 minutes or something and I found out the college offers similar services to what my doctors does. I think I might have given the slight impression that I was in/or open to recovery since I agreed to use them, and whilst I am open to that (not doing it but open to it), it's not something I want to do to be honest. I mainly want to use them so that the anxiety and things doesn't get as bad as it did in high school because that along with the ED really got in the way of it and I ended up doing so bad in school.

So enough of that. I meant to take a picture of my outfit for Isla, but it completely slipped my mind and I'm now in my pjs and kind of wet from the rain. I'll take one the next time I wear the outfit. :)

After college I met up with David and we've spent the last few hours avoiding the sudden downfalls of rain and buying stationary and things for college. I hate the fact that you have to have a billion and one pads/pens/folders. It was so much easier in HS when they provided us with most of that stuff lol. I realised everything I bought was either pink or blue when I put them in the drawer a few minutes ago. It was nice spending the afternoon with him though. We get along so well that we keep getting asked why we broke up. Or are we finally back together.. People just can't be friends anymore can they? :P

I'm so tired. I need to read and comment on blogs and then probably go to bed since I seem to be in the habit of waking up at ridiculous times in the morning. Plus I have the doctors at stupid o'clock too which I am greatly looking forward to.. See how much of a great liar I can be? I think I'll talk to him about the self harm tomorrow. I did tell Emma I would... I'm finding it so strange how I can all of a sudden trust my doctor and tutors when I have major trust issues. Strange right?

Take care


  1. Glad you had a good time :)
    Your lucky you can trust your doctor, I don't trust any medical people I've met, from counsilors, to doctors, to dentists!
    I hope it goes well for you :)
    Lottie x

  2. I'm glad to hear College went well (: and that's nice that someone else is in the same position as you there (:
    That's good you told her about your ED and things in the end too, and do take advantage of the services - hopefully they'll be able to help the anxiety!

    I hope the docs goes well (: do try and talk about the self harm - write it down if you have to - it's good for him to know (:

    take care, xxx

  3. You are quite lovely. Thanks for mentioning me in your blog. Oh, and college life seems like so much fun. I'm kind of sad that I got married at 18, otherwise I would be where you are right now. But, at least I can live vicariously through you. ; )

    Sweet dreams, love. You deserve it.

  4. I LOVE "stupid o'clock" that's so funny

  5. I meant XO not so

  6. David sounds like a really fantastic person. Your whole rainy day sounds like my idea of perfect, really :)

    (Yes, diet soda will be my downfall. I will get cancer and die at 23, I promise.)

  7. Your rainy day sounds like my idea of a perfect day :) And David must be a fantastic guy.

    (You're right; diet soda will kill me and I'll be dead at 23, promise.)

  8. sounds like you had a pretty good day :-) i'm not sure i could tell anyone about my ED... you are very strong!! good luck at the docs tomorrow!!
    thank you for the lovely comment! :-)