Wednesday, 7 September 2011
College went pretty good. It's a small class and the tutor is lovely so I can't complain. She has the same name as me too lol. Well she has my name I originally had (I got it changed legally quite a few years ago, I just don't have any extra copies of the deed thing so I can change it to the name I changed it to. Make sense? I should get some spares so I can change it at some point..). Everyone is younger than me apart from Alistar (who is lovely and I think that is how you spell his name) and ironically, he wants to study medicine too so we'll most likely be in the same classes until university.
Telling her (Christine) and Emma went... It was so much harder than telling my doctor for some reason. I almost forgot until Emma called me back and then it hit me. I still couldn't say it out loud so I ended up writing it down. I explained that I hadn't really said it to anybody and when I do say it out loud, it sounds so serious. We ended up talking for 20 minutes or something and I found out the college offers similar services to what my doctors does. I think I might have given the slight impression that I was in/or open to recovery since I agreed to use them, and whilst I am open to that (not doing it but open to it), it's not something I want to do to be honest. I mainly want to use them so that the anxiety and things doesn't get as bad as it did in high school because that along with the ED really got in the way of it and I ended up doing so bad in school.
So enough of that. I meant to take a picture of my outfit for Isla, but it completely slipped my mind and I'm now in my pjs and kind of wet from the rain. I'll take one the next time I wear the outfit. :)
After college I met up with David and we've spent the last few hours avoiding the sudden downfalls of rain and buying stationary and things for college. I hate the fact that you have to have a billion and one pads/pens/folders. It was so much easier in HS when they provided us with most of that stuff lol. I realised everything I bought was either pink or blue when I put them in the drawer a few minutes ago. It was nice spending the afternoon with him though. We get along so well that we keep getting asked why we broke up. Or are we finally back together.. People just can't be friends anymore can they? :P
I'm so tired. I need to read and comment on blogs and then probably go to bed since I seem to be in the habit of waking up at ridiculous times in the morning. Plus I have the doctors at stupid o'clock too which I am greatly looking forward to.. See how much of a great liar I can be? I think I'll talk to him about the self harm tomorrow. I did tell Emma I would... I'm finding it so strange how I can all of a sudden trust my doctor and tutors when I have major trust issues. Strange right?