Saturday, 17 September 2011

The seventeenth

I've spent most of my day doing Maths/English homework/revision, surfing YouTube and brushing up on Science stuff. I don't ever do interesting things do I? Haha.

I did go to Starbucks and New Look today with a friend. I saw the B-eat t-shirt in New Look and was going to buy it but I decided not to. I felt a little bit hypocritical and decided I'll buy it in a few weeks or something. I still have to buy a dress or something for my interview.

Last night I sort of realised how much I have messed up my teeth over the years when I was brushing them. I dread to think of the dental work I'll end up getting done before getting braces. Dentists scare me a little bit. Not the dentists or what they do, it's mainly the dental students and the fact someone will have their hand in my mouth. I always get too tempted to bite down or something whilst they are talking to me. I still have no idea why they insist on starting a conversation with you whilst you obviously cannot talk back without chomping down on their fingers.

I feel... Confused of sorts today. I think I have the ability to think about things too much on weekends. That is why I have never liked them. It's always more tempting to do stupid things on the weekend for some reason. Then again, living alone it is always tempting to do stupid things. I have noticed that when I do self harm or something, I still do it in secrecy. Like, even though I know nobody could walk in and catch me in the act, I still act all weird and things like I used to when I lived with people.

I need to stop thinking about everything but what I am revising and that. Thinking can be dangerous lol. It should come with a warning label. :P
Anyway. I am going to do some cycling, finish my work and then maybe go to sleep. Or call somebody and distract myself for a while until I am tired.

Take care


  1. Take care as well, I go nuts with too much solitude.

  2. If your day includes maths revision then that's clearly a good day ;)

    Haha, i never understand why dentists insist on talking to you when you can't reply. hopefully you wont need too much dental work :(

    I always find weekends are awful, as i have no routine, and nothing to do or anything, so i end up doing stupid stuff lol. i hope you didn't cut or anything in the end :( aww, that's odd you still do it secretly - maybe you half want it to be a secret from yourself or something or dont want to have to associate your house with cutting? idk. i find though when i do things like that i have to put a towel over my mirror (i have a very small room and a full length mirror lol) because i don't want to see myself do it lol and i feel "ashamed" :s, could it be something like that with you?

    Hope you managed to distract yourself (:

    And to your comment on my blog - that sounds like an awful system! hopefuly they'll have it sorted out soon :/ and i have a middle aged crazy man as one of my chemistry teachers ;) they're not all bad!

    take care, xxxxxxxx

  3. Haha I totally understand. My weekends are always at one extreme or the other. I either am doing something crazy with friends or they are full of boredom and homework. lol

    Also, I am almost positive that dentist take a course in the worst conversation to have with a patient when you have your hands in their mouths. They have too! All of them do it. You would think they would ask yes or no questions. lol But no, they want details. =p

  4. I've never been to the dentist and I'm lucky I have really good teeth. But everyone always warns me how bad and scary it is - so I don't know how I'll feel when I finally have to visit one.

    I do alot of destructive things when I'm all alone.

  5. I know exactly what you mean about the teeth......I've dumped about 3,000 dollars into mine the past year due to havoc from bulimia....I try to quit purging it's just so hard.. :(