Thursday, 1 September 2011

The first

For some retarded reason just then, I was about to write it's October.

I want to be wherever that picture was taken and spend all day there just reading a book. I imagine it would be so peaceful.

I feel all positive today for some reason. I have no idea why because it's not like I feel fantastic (stomach ache from laxatives, stupid wisdom teeth and the annoying plateau), but I could do with feeling positive like this everyday. It is much better than that general depressed/sad/blah feeling.

I realised this morning when I stood on the scales (I have quite good thinking sessions on them things) that I am around 5.6lbs away from my lowest weight this year. It's still a perfectly healthy weight and everything, so it's not like it's terribly unhealthy or anything. Well, it's not an unhealthy weight at least. How I lose the weight and all that jizz isn't healthy, but hey ho.

I'm still a little annoyed that I can't really eat. I don't know why I am annoyed because I guess to many it would be a blessing in disguise or something, but I was actually going to make an effort to eat... Something. Unfortunately, it feels like I have little men doing construction of sorts in my mouth haha. I hate wisdom teeth. I should definitely not have waited before asking to have them taken out just because they didn't hurt. Now I have to have a general to have them out and I remember the last time I had a GA. I freaked out so bad because they didn't explain it to me or anything. In my defense, I was 7.

Take care


  1. I love those days where you just feel positive :) makes me feel like my world is full of sunshine rather than the storm cloud that covers my head when I am in those terrible moods. And yeah 450 isn't dreadfully bad but it was about to get sooo much worse I am glad I stopped myself.

  2. Aww, i think it's crazy it's already September (even if you're a month ahead). It's good you're feeling more positive today (: sometimes the worst days are good as they make the positive days even better in comparision and you can appreciate them more youk know? (:

    I hope your teeth get better soon :( it's definitely not a blessing in disguise. (I've got my wisdom teeth coming through too, though no pain at the moment, this is only the 3rd week that i've realised they're coming through though . . .)

    If your doctors are closeby then it couldn't hurt to ask for a letter explaining your ED for your tutor? (: worth a shot, right?

    take care lovely, xxxxx

  3. those are the best days!! make the most of it! :-) hope your teeth feel better soon...
    you are doing so well!!!

  4. summer went by so fast and that picture is beautiful i wish i was there.
    Wisdom are painful i had mine remove last year and couldn't eat for like 2 weeks lost a lot of weight though :) but gained it back :(

  5. Bloody wisdom teeth cause more trouble than they're worth! Lol, if I could GE humans that's the first thing I'd get rid of: Wisdom teeth. Sure the dentists would hate me, but COME ON!! D: *Hugs*

    Lol, if you ever go near a rowing machine make sure there's a trainer there to make sure you do it right or you could really fuck yourself up. There's a laminated note on the one at my gym (It's a place that gets a buttload of physiotherapy referrals) that says to NEVER use a rower if you've had back surgery D:

    Thank you for the awesome comment <3 I hope the good feelings stick around for the rest of the year :)

  6. I wish it was Oct lol. It'd mean the awkwardness of starting school again would be over with.
    Wisdom teeth are terrible! Just horrible.
    5.6lbs from your lowest weight of this year? Girl I am jealous!! x

  7. If you find that place, bring me too? It looks so serene and just silent.
    It isn't a blessing in disguise (well I guess it would be if you was trying to stop bingeing or something) to have painful wisdom teeth. I hated mine coming through.

    Healthy weight but unhealthy methods getting there. I know that well. ;)

  8. Oh September, what a pain!

    I'm glad you're feeling positive thought- definite win! :D

    That whole, difference between, a healthy weight and unhealthy weight loss is so odd, its stupidly hard to get your head around in a way, like if you "feel" healthy you should be healthy, if your weight is "healthy" you should be but you're not. Oh its so odd.

    Also I couldn't comment on your previous post- damn phone- but I feel your pain on not being able to say "I have an eating disorder" etc. It takes a lot of practise. Last week I said "maybe I have anorexia" out loud for the first time. Bloody weird.

    I hope you managed to sort stuff with college out?