Thursday, 28 July 2011

Not a bad day

This picture still makes me laugh lol.

Today hasn't been a bad day. Maybe it has something to do with sleeping away most of it. :P Something about fasting makes me so tired. Either that or the gym. Both are tiring.

My bmi is finally back under the healthy range by quite a bit which is good. It probably has something to do with not been in that binge sort of stage. 'Tis nice to be out of the 160's and 150's though, but then again I say that everytime I come out of the 150's or 140's or 130's or 120's or 110's etc etc. I always feel quite bad though because if I am not bingeing/purging which I don't do too often, I am restricting and purging or just not eating which is what I have done since Friday night and I don't hate it, but I don't like it. Whenever I fast it is always for such a stupid amount of time and it's such a tiring cycle to be stuck in. It's even harder to change it though. Everytime I attempt to be normal I feel like a fake. Like I just can't be normal. I think that is what puts me off the idea of recovery. Not that it is something I want to do right now but... It's just harder to try and change 12 years of thinking than it is to remain the same. I guess that is a lame excuse, but that is what I think.

I found something good out of going to the doctors in two weeks. I can know my proper height. :D I always get told different things by different people. I'm at least 5'5-5'6 I know that for sure. Doing my bmi I tend to use 5'5.5 so I am in the middle of what I always get told.

I am absolutely roasting. I feel like I am being cooked or something. It makes a change from being freezing but I think I much prefer being cold over being warm. It's irritating after a little while to be so warm. I was the same yesterday. I went to this huge park with one of my friends to just walk around and randomly talk about things which helped me put off opening my letter. Yes my famous letter arrived. Anyway, yesterday was a really relaxing day of sorts being surrounded by water and nature. I mean it took my mind off of some things which I appreciated. We're going to have to do it again at some point because I've just realised how much I put off spending time with my friends. I don't even notice how often I blow these guys off until I really think about it.

That's it. I'm off to get a shower and settle down to watch Law and Order: SVU.

Take care


  1. Congrats on getting a regular bmi again!
    Stay safe whilst fasting girl.
    It is hard to change something that seems so normal but sometimes you have to attempt to change ya know?


  2. I personally hate change too. It is just so hard to do and makes me terrified lol.
    Ugh I hate people telling me different heights. It is so annoying to be constantly told you have grown, then shrunk, then grown...

    Hope you are okay.

  3. My picture! :-)

    I know what you mean about feeling like a fake.
    I would leave you a longer comment but I have no more internet time!
    Hope you are ok!