This picture still makes me laugh lol.
My bmi is finally back under the healthy range by quite a bit which is good. It probably has something to do with not been in that binge sort of stage. 'Tis nice to be out of the 160's and 150's though, but then again I say that everytime I come out of the 150's or 140's or 130's or 120's or 110's etc etc. I always feel quite bad though because if I am not bingeing/purging which I don't do too often, I am restricting and purging or just not eating which is what I have done since Friday night and I don't hate it, but I don't like it. Whenever I fast it is always for such a stupid amount of time and it's such a tiring cycle to be stuck in. It's even harder to change it though. Everytime I attempt to be normal I feel like a fake. Like I just can't be normal. I think that is what puts me off the idea of recovery. Not that it is something I want to do right now but... It's just harder to try and change 12 years of thinking than it is to remain the same. I guess that is a lame excuse, but that is what I think.
I am absolutely roasting. I feel like I am being cooked or something. It makes a change from being freezing but I think I much prefer being cold over being warm. It's irritating after a little while to be so warm. I was the same yesterday. I went to this huge park with one of my friends to just walk around and randomly talk about things which helped me put off opening my letter. Yes my famous letter arrived. Anyway, yesterday was a really relaxing day of sorts being surrounded by water and nature. I mean it took my mind off of some things which I appreciated. We're going to have to do it again at some point because I've just realised how much I put off spending time with my friends. I don't even notice how often I blow these guys off until I really think about it.
That's it. I'm off to get a shower and settle down to watch Law and Order: SVU.