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Monday, 2 May 2011

May [:

It feels a little bit weird to say it is a new month. I mean, the fifth month of the year. Time is going to fast in my opinion. It'll be Christmas again before I know it haha. I can't remember if I said this a few weeks ago, but I went to donate blood and couldn't. Iron and stuff too low which means non stopBold visits to the new doctor. *I have to give them the passport tomorrow. I need to remember that* Anyway, that means I can get my tattoo's before I was going to. I get my rib piece one in August I think. I am off with 2 of my aunties when they get their tattoo of something. I think Sarah is getting a thingy of her old cat. I have too many ideas for tattoos I want. They are small in my defence though. :P So, new month, new thoughts. I have kind of decided to keep track of what I eat and how much I exercise and write it all down incase I want to give it to my doctor because I would possibly have an heart attack if I had to say it outloud. ^ That makes me feel nervous just writing that. I don't want recovery at all, I sort of just don't want to lie anymore. But I don't want it on my medical records. And I don't want people to know. See? I make no sense at all. I'm not moving towards recovery in the slightest, I just... I don't know what I want. I just want to be able to say to my doctor "No, I am not okay" y'know? Anyway. Enough of that talk. :P It's making me feel all nervous and anxious. I got asked to go out with friends tonight. I got asked yesterday too, but I decided to stay in. I couldn't refuse tonight too. I should have gone last night since I have college tomorrow, but oh well. I might as well make the most of the Bank Holiday since we won't get another long weekend like this for another... Well forever. Enjoy your Bank Holiday weekend peeps. [: Take care. xxxx

3 comments:

  1. It really is going by at a rapid speed..
    Oooh tattoos are exciting!

    I think the writing things down for your doctor sounds like a really good idea.
    & I know what you mean about not lying. :-)

    Have a beastly night!
    xxxxx

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  2. Oh yes, this year has gone SO fast already!! It's scary.
    The tattoos sound cool! You're gonna look so cool with them!
    I know what you mean with all that stuff. Good luck at your doctors! I hope it goes well.
    <3

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  3. you do make sense hun. i feel like that sometimes too! sometimes i want to come out with it all but then not deal with it after telling and all that .
    stay strong sweetie (:
    x

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