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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

It's only 22:33

And I am shattered. I can't imagine how I will be feeling once I start going back to the gym (February 3rd). I'll probably drop dead lol. I swear it is all the running up and down the stairs at college. It's tiring and one day I will fall lol. Though they have CCTV so that could be embarrassing lol. I'll be on my 4th day fasting in just over 1hr. I don't feel like I am fasting though. I've gone from 144.6lbs(?) to 139.8lbs. I cannot believe I actually let myself gain so much over the holidays. It is quite depressing actually. And is it wrong to want to beat my old 18 day fasting record? Well not record but... You know what I mean. OH! Did I mention I have Alex as a tutor sort of thing again? That was such an epic face palm moment. Word of advice; being friends with somebody who is teaching you is kind of weird. It's so... Just weird! It's hard to get your head around it. At least for me anyway. I dislike the fact he knows my eating pattern is so studgy. Is that a word? If not it is now. Thankfully Nez doesn't. He's actually called something like Neeam or something. I cannot remember. All I remember is I never talked to him when I went there before. :P But anyway. Have you ever had that thought where you sort of want somebody to notice how messed up you are? I keep feeling this and then 2 minutes later I think I am crazy for thinking it. The thought of telling somebody terrifies me. I just... I have no problem admitting it on here or PT for example, but in real life... I would poop myself. I'd just have to lock myself in the bathroom. I seem to have lots to want to write today. It's a first. Blogging is coming back to me :D I am getting my tattoos and piercings once I have next donated blood! I'm getting so excited and motivated since I want micro dermals on my hip and where my rib is. I'm dragging my friend along to take photographs lol. I have to save up first. I think it is something like £145 just for 4 micro dermals, though I have heard from some friends in the US and Canada that they pay like up to $120 for one? I thought that was madness! But since I am getting mine done at the same place I normally go to, I'm getting them done all together and then going to college. I am slightly mad but it is cool. :) I've accepted it. So I think at the end of February, beginning of March is when I can get them. I'm too much of a dedicated blood donor to get them now lol. I get new glasses next week too. New hair colour, new glasses... And new shoes :) What more could a girl ask for? Oh and thank you guys for the comments on my hair the other day. My hair always seems to get compliments. I find it so strange. It's almost the same colour as Alex's, but his is a wee bit darker. Okay I am not talking about him anymore. People will starting thinkings things and we shouldn't enter that topic. Soo swiftly moving on and I have nothing to say haha. Oh what a fantastic subject to end on. Umm I need something different to end this on. *thinks* I don't have to be at college until 11:30am? No um... Ooh Saturday/Sunday. It's a bit iffy and kind of a fail. Great 18th right? But short end of the story I was meant to be going to my older cousins with our friends and there is going to be kids and family members there. I so am not drinking when kids and the rest of my family are there. I'd rather spend my birthday on PT, in bed. It's such a fricking fail. Fingers crossed it gets sorted out by then "/ I am still not eating the crap though. So nighty night. Take care xoxox

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