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Friday, 2 July 2010

It's just like ugh!

So here is the long update I have been meaning to do for ages. It's quite a lot and quite random in parts so bare with me. Since I am watching a load of wank aka Peter Andre on tv I might as well start writing it all done now.

It's been quite a long day actually. Calorie laden but busy. No gym though. So annoying. Everytime I want to go we always get caught up doing something else and then it's just too late to go and then get other things done. Going on Saturday though. Watching the Germany match there. When a football match is on it is probably the time we ever really stay for 2 hours. When the England match was on last week I swear to God there was only us two and then another 3 people came. Now that was a good day haha. if only it happened more often.

So... one of my "friends" (ha! So totally not after this comment) said I had a tummy =O Like seriously bitch? That is the ultimate insult to come from her. Fine I have gained 3lbs this past week :( but I am still a good 25lbs less than her. I didn't know whether to be insulted or just laugh. Cold hearted so and so. I did want to reply "That's major coming from you tubsy" but I bit my tongue. Hard! I just brushed it off but it stuck in my head throughout the day. She totally likes my ex too. I think probably more than I did o.O her and him? Jeezus I think I would have a coronary and never speak to anyone again. I'd become a mute or something.

We went to a... well I wouldn't call her a friend but somebody we all know and talk to. The reason I won't call her a friend is because a) I rarely see her and b) I barely know her so yeah. But anyway we went to her house and ohmigosh! It wasn't *thinking of a nice word..* tidy. I swear my OCD urges kicked in and I wanted to clean her house. I (thankfully) resisted saying anything. Gah it's annoying though. It's not hard to clear up after yourself.

The amount of walking done today should be illegal. Like seriously I thought my legs were going to come off plus it was freaking hot! As you know the UK is the coldest island ever so this heat is very rare. It's always over 20 degrees celcius (which doesn't seem hot compared to some climates but our summers are normally 14 lol) and it's just getting uncomfortable. Night times are humid so you don't get to sleep until after 6am and by them it's starting to warm up again and it's an endless cycle haha. Not good for my sanity.

I did had what the girl said earlier in my head. (Still think she is an uber bitch) It was really annoying me and all I could think of when we went to a sort of lunch. Conversation was going in one ear and out the other. I think we have all had those moments though were something is just stuck and you can't focus on anything else. You want to do something out of revenge but what's the point? You can say you are not eating because somebody insulted you but they never see the results of that. It's easier to just get even with a similar comment back ;)

Which brings me to the thing i was discussing with an ED friend earlier today. We didn't understand how people said they were starving for somebody. I can kind of understand people who say it's because of their mother pushing them into something like pagents and ballet etc but I don't understand the boyfriend thing. Sure we all want to be perfect for them but I could never honestly hand on heart say I continue in my Eating Disorder for anybody, no matter what.

My highly hugely annoying "friend" was non stop text today. Don't get me wrong I love texting. I mean my phone in my left hand! But gosh there is a time when you just have to stop. It's every little thing that she will moan about. I know everyone with EDs moan at some point but oh my days it's too much. And don't tell me about the cutting thing especially when it doesn't ring true. You muppet I work in an hospital and see self harmers. If you are bleeding badly they are not leaving you in the waiting room for 6 hours. Come on like the rules are you are in and out within 4 hours and then you go into the red. On top of that if you are still bleeding they would have treated you there and then. The NHS isn't that bad y'know!

And with that I am off to bed.

M L

xoXox

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