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Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Tuesday/Wednesday. My brain is confused!

So I do need to get times right. But like w/e. Better late by a few hours or something than a couple of days o.O Today was a total dunce. Honestly (has anyone else noticed I am either honest or serious?) food intake was utter rubbish but not as bad as yesterday thank god. Earlier before I went to the gym one of my girl friends came around. Shocker I only ever seem to blog about guys haha. But she convinced me to put this facemask type of thing on my face. Dear Lord it fucking hurt! Not majorly like, just it made me cry. Have you ever put toothpaste on your face as a last resort to banish a few spots? Jeez it is as bad as that. It made me run and eyes run. Not a pretty site haha. It was a bit funny though but I hopped into the bathroom and in the shower to get it frigging off. Like seriously I will never be doing that again. I will stick to my fancy overpriced crap! But my skin doesn't feel too bad and it helps it become a little bit clearer. I have pretty good skin but I am no doll. I am prone to breakouts. Need to keep working on it but it'll get there. Eventually. I'm actually sat in a face mask at the moment. I am being kind to my skin haha before I go and torture the body with a jog/run and gym later on today. I am determined not to let my eating throw me off on my exercise routine. I do need to start getting more sleep though. I'd love to sleep my day away since these next couple of days I have nothing major planned. Apart from going around all of Leeds on Thursday but from there on it's all random. Nothing planned or scheduled. Nothing important to do so I might try and kick the insomnia's arse and sleep for ages. I can wish right. I think I should go to bed since it's 04:33am. I cba staying awake doing anything. So shower and bed until later on. And hopefully asleep before 6am =/ M L xoXox

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Monday/Tuesday or something along them lines

Damn it I missed Monday by 10 minutes = *shrugs shoulders* I started writing this absolutely hours ago. Around half 1 (yes am!) I got a call from a few friends of mine who are at college/uni and they are in London about to fly to a place in Europe. Anyway they asked me (and H separately) if we could give their house - it's shared - a quick clean because a new person is moving in tomorrow. Now in my opinion I would of thought that they would move in nearer to September when University starts again but w/e I guess. It took a lot of bribing but I or rather we agreed to on the basis they pay for a night out hehe! Sneaky. Oh my gosh though! Their place is like a bomb as hit it =O Now before we got there we stopped off at this off licence and H bough alcohol. I didn't understand personally because there house is full of it =P But I dealt. All I could think off was alcohol on top of everything I ate today. Jeez I'll talk about that later on but I am definitely starting a fast! It's a 30 minute walk from our area to my friends so we had a few laughs and acted like total idiots all the way there. I think it was probably the alcohol or maybe the rain - I LOVE the rain - but I was totally hyper. The way I acted tonight, this morning rather normally takes me forever to feel comfortable with a person to act. It was a blast getting there though :) Worth the no sleep tbh. I quite enjoy cleaning. Seriously I am a clean freak but when we got there I didn't want to (that night out is going to cost the twats!) It was like ugh! Students are such messy people. I don't care if they have been sitting their final exams. But the alcohol and Jeremy Kyle was making it a laugh. And no I am not a chav or whatever them people are that go on. Just makes me laugh that people would air their dirty laundry in public. You would be soo judged! It was and still is thundering and raining to a point. I love thunderstorms though. Such fun haha. And rain. Kissing in the rain is fun. Gosh I think I am feeling the alcohol xD I should probably go back to Monday o.O What did I do...? I ate. Wayy too much. Downside of going in and out all day with people. Didn't even do much at the gym. It was way too warm and there was kids. A ton of weedy evil little kids. One fell off the treadmill thinking he was cool trying to run so fast. I had to walk out cos I couldn't stop laughing haha. We spent a while after that just taking the mick out of people. Hey we was bored and they looked... funny! I'm still pretty bummed at eating so much. Alcohol on top of it wasn't the best idea but it's one day. A crappy one but I have probably had so much more fun today despite being forced in a way to eat it than I have when not eating anything. I still hate it though. It's the one part that sucks about EDNOS. It's soo... not picky that you do a quantity of all eating disorders. And when I said forced in a way I mean people bought me the food and it was basically have an alright time or sit in a place and argue. I don't have the energy to argue with anybody. At least not at this point. It has been like just over 2 weeks since me and David broke up. I think now it's starting to hit home more. I'll live though. We are friends. It's going to suck when he moves on though. But I'll deal with that when it comes to it. It'll be tough though I think. I totally keep having nightmares. Like seriously nearly every night. It's getting stupid. They aren't even scary it's just the situation and I wake up feeling Freddy Bloody Kruger is about to kill me! The heat is probably getting to me. Not even this heavy rain as cooled it down because I am straight dying right now. Like ugh! I hate being too hot. It's not even the kind where you are hot to touch just hot inside. It's like the flaming menopause at 17 xD Anyway I am going to stop writing now because I can't be bothered anymore plus I am so tired! M L xoXox

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Sunday mornings are always a blast xD

Today is going to be a long one. I'm currently at my ex boyfriends house and he is having a bbq so to avoid the that I got a shower so I am sat in his bedroom avoiding his friends and family. Seriously it becomes a bore when you are the only one sat listening to your iPod whilst everyone is eating and laughing. It's like half past 12 and I have to set off to the gym in just over an hour. I'm watching the England match at the gym rather than at home. If I stay at Davids everyone will just be drinking whereas if I watch it with H (I did nickname him that right?) I'm not really expected to do anything since he is doing a 45 minute shift watching the pool area after the match so I might just sit around and chill out there or I'll go for a walk before we set off afterwards. Yes I really don't like walking alone in that area haha. It's a lovely part of Leeds don't get me wrong but it's the type of area where every guy in the vicinity can tell when any woman under 26 is walking around. Seriously they are like Beadles hunting foxes. No matter how hard you try it will always be a struggle to outrun them. You can outsmart them but running from them is the hardest bit. Though at least it's not like the part of Leeds an ex friend lives in. You don't even have to try to outsmart guys there. You are lucky if they have 1 GCSE at grade F! Gosh I should get a start on getting ready. It's all well writing this but I can't go to the gym with wet hair. It feels too conditiony. I have never liked Davids shampoo on my own hair. Feels rank. Smells good though. Ugh why on earth am I watching Big Brother?? The girl that looks like a dude (yep I totally just judged her.) shouldn't get involved in the UKs benefit system. Like seriously? Girl you are on Big Brother for Christ sake. Do not discuss things you don't and never will understand. I've never understood why people do that. Politicians involved :P Stick to what you know and shut up about the rest. Gah this program is making me cringe! Why would you voluntarily spend so long with so many strangers? And flirting? Like yuk!! Again stick to what you know and are good at. Flirting isn't your strong point blonde dude that is trying to look awesome. They are all losers. I thought I was one until I saw this shite. Right I need to check on my gym gear. D's idiotic friend Chase spilt his drink on them. Grr! So that means I have to wait for them to dry (In the dryer now) and then iron them. Don't ask why but I have to iron everything I wear. So I need to go and blow dry then straighten my hair and get all my crap together so I can go and meet H. I must say I am getting fed up of people thinking I date him, Like yeah I'd do that so soon after a break up. Some people might have no class but I taught myself different. You wait at least 4 weeks xD Nahh I am kidding. Oh gosh the points I am bringing across that I would do if I was in Big Brother. That bloody peg eye xD Or the Prime Minister. Seriously I would be a kick ass Prime Minister. You should all totally vote for me when I decide to run. I'm going to do a line up and choose what you eat. I'd be "You fat Bastard... Vegan!" "You fat Bastard... Vegetarian." "You fat Bastard... WATER." Ahh I would be soo awesome. Now let's get myself sorted out yeah? It's like 1pm. Gawd. Rush rush. M L xoXox

Saturday, 26 June 2010

Build a bridge and jump! (rant)

Seriously people? Don't make plans if you aren't going to stick to them. Especially when it involves me dropping all my plans to spend the day with you. Ugh! This is why I stick to a smaller amount of friends. People let you down. And when things don't go right it puts me in a foul mood. Probably explains the mood I am in atm. The one when every little thing is pissing me off. Like if my internet keeps going offline every 2 fucking minutes I am going to scream. Seriously I would get a better signal in the frigging train station. Or Starbucks. At least in Starbucks I'd have some caffiene to calm my nerves down!! David Cameron will start doing an okay job before my computer runs normal. Grr!! So after my 6am awake up (baring in mind I didn't get to sleep until because of the humid weather) and then a day waiting on people to find out they can't "do" today, I am quite tired and grouchy. It's not lack of food that makes me irritable, it's lack of sleep. Coffee helps a little bit though. I think I am going to spend the rest of the day wasting time on PrettyThin and feeling sorry for myself. Oh by Lord England had better win tomorrow afternoon. If not I will personally find a way to get to South Africa and kick their useless arses! Oh and I will shake Germanys hands just to be sarcastic. Uh-oh... I am bordering on the brink of boredom where the salt water flush looks interesting too try... I shall resist... Anyway moral of that is Don't ask me to do something when you are going to cancel. Waste my time and day. Meh! M L xoXox

Friday, 25 June 2010

My day or something on them lines...

I'm looking forward to Sunday. More so than Saturday. Tomorrow I am off swimming in the afternoon after I've been to the gym and done some shopping. Normally I wouldn't mind but kids are coming too. A few of my younger cousins and friends kids are coming. God have strength on my soul! Don't get me wrong kids are nice and all. And maybe once I get married I would have 1 or 2 but ugh! Other peoples kids are annoying. Most don't listen simpily because their parents don't force them to. So there is a slight chance tomorrow that I will either be in hospital myself or on charges of... would it be murder or manslaughter? I mean it wouldn't be as though I planned it... I really don't want to go. It's not that I don't like swimming. I love swimming but I just... ugh. Now they want to go earlier which would mean me not going to the gym or being able to go shopping. FML. I need to figure it out because I did agree but I would rather slave my butt off in the gym rather than swimming. It screws my hair up after a while. So today I did my regular gym workout and didn't eat until around 7pm. I had a snack a jack. Not too bad tbh. ~ Edit : You had 341 calories ~ It was quite exhausting today. Not one I care to blog about because I would rather just relax and think things through so today is going to be my crappy short post barely saying a thing about what I did yet I still manage to make it look longer by putting an entire sentence in that didn't need to be in because I am simpily talented in that way. M L xoXox

Thursday, 24 June 2010

I think I'm going a little bit loopy! =/ ...

For the love of mankind it is the Italians playing not the French. Jeez you can tell the difference. Or maybe I can simply because I notice things and am not challenged. Anyway moving on. I haven't even done much today. I skipped the gym. Seriously don't stay up until 7am if you plan on doing a 2hr workout. Even my friend didn't want to go. I did but didn't. So I have nothing remotely interesting going on today. It's been pretty gorgeous out today so have had the balcony door open since like 11am. It's so warm. So not a totally wasted day. Bah who am I kidding? I've spent most of my day on PrettyThin and Google. Creative right? My friend said something that struck a chord. Since we are pretty close we was just sat at the table talking and he was like "Don't get too skinny." So very random in my opinion. I was like haha what are you on?! He just said some people get obsessed with the gym etc. At that point I picked up a cushion and tossed it at him! I just told him not to be stupid. If I was obsessed I'd of gone to the gym which I didn't. I hate people commenting on my weight whether it's good or bad. It's too much attention that I just don't want but then again I never hide the fact I am at the gym everyday or I go running or eat little. It has gotten to a point where I can't be bothered to make pathetic excuses or anything. I'm 17 and can refuse to eat dinner with somebody if I want to. Grr oops! I went off into a little rant there. But I know what I mean and since this is my blog I can rant whenever I want to xD But another friend I was texting not long after he left around 4pm said I had changed. I don't see how. I mean everybody changes. Especially when life changes. Am I supposed to remain the kid I was when I was 7? Cos I wouldn't want to go back to that age. I asked her how I had changed and she just said I was completely different to how I used to be. I'm different because I have been through more stuff than she has. Granted she may live in a council estate and I don't but it doesn't mean I have it easier. Just means I am willing to pay the bloody rent!! Anyhow to say I haven't had an interesting day I have a bloody lot to rant and moan about. Ah well just means I am popular xP I don't understand the whole changing thing though. She probably means since I moved out last summer and went to college. Well excuse me for moving on with my life. I know I am not the same as I was back then. I don't think many people are once they have been to college and moved out. Things happen and if I have changed too much for you then I guess so be it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Edit: Went out until 2:15am ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My friend and 2 others Will and Lee called me a couple of hours ago and asked if I fancied going out for a while with them. Truth be told I didn't cos I didn't feel great and I knew alcohol would be involved but I agreed since I had nothing better to do. (I was quite happy talking on msn and PrettyThin to be honest) We ended up going to Lee's house which isn't too far away from my house. Our houses? We all live locally. Gosh I am so warm right now! Anyway we ended up drinking quite a bit and a few of our other friends joined us. About 6 of us ended up going to this large park nearby and acting like morons (not that a few of us have to try ;) haha.) We spilt up after a while and went off in pairs or so depending on who lived closest. I mean no point me going home with Lee when he lives like at the other end of the... community? Something like that. Making sense? I bet not. So anyway me, Will(iam) and... what can I call him since I aren't naming him?... H. Stands for hot which he sort of is. we were all walking home, not in the straightest line granted but not wobbly enough for the police to actually stop =/ (Downside to living so close to the biggest police station I have seen. Seriously nearly everywhere I have lived it's been 10 minutes away from the police department.) They was talking about one of our friends who has gained weight. She used to be the poster girl for the preppy, blonde cheerleader type of IT girl. Then she got a boyfriend and apparently isn't bothered by her weight. (Go her!) So Will said, "She's now a lot bigger than you used to be!" Ever wanted to punch somebody? Yeah me too. I just scoffed and said "Thanks jerk!" At that point I put my earphones in. Guys aren't meant to talk about weight. That's what I think anyway. About 10 minutes later and 2.5 songs down Will arrived at his house. They did the guy thing and I got a hug and kiss. Way to butter a girl up. Gosh this is starting to get long. It's not even as if it is the same day as the first part! o.O Me and H live around 5 minutes away from each other. He lives in an house though and I live in the apartment block. Too much detail? We ended up walking around for quite a while and just talking. At first we said nothing at all and then started discussing footy and that sorts. For a girly girl I know an awful lot about sports, politics and the news. In the end we sat in a bus shelter and just sat there. It was peaceful. He tried bringing up what Will said but I have the powers of switching a topic faster than David Cameron tells lies! He let it die. Probably won't be the end of it but I feel too ugh to care. Seriously that alcohol made me feel worse than I did earlier!! Yes I actually threw up. Never done that before but in my defence it was before we started drinking. But I do feel lousy and I should probably go to bed since it is 4am but I am not tired. I think I will just get my duvet and pillows and snuggle up on the sofa for a while before I confuse myself with more of the ED and lurve thoughts haha. Sorry for the uber confusing blog. M L xoXox

Wednesday, 23 June 2010

Kay in Wonderhell!

As I am writing this I am sat in my dressing gown with my hair in a conditioning mask. Nice image right? My friend is staying over, unexpected I may add but he is chilling out on the sofa and I am at the dining table. Same room like but it's a biggish space. We are watching the Bodygaurd. I missed half of it. Just my luck. This conditioner has been on my hair for ages but truth is I am too lazy to go and wash it off right now. At least my hair won't stink of hair dye though. More of a... I couldn't actually tell you. Sort of... TreSemme, clairol, Loreal and something else cos I made the mask myself. I needed to get rid of some bottle so mixed them together. Oh yeah! At some point I am going to have to stop writing this and go and get a shower. Well today. Not a great one tbh. Not too sunny either. Why is it when the sun goes so does my thinking brain?? The good points:
  • I saw my friends. Some of whom I love to pieces.
  • And I spent 2 hours in the gym! Whoo go me!
The bad points:
  • We spent most of the day in a resturant.
  • I had wine. Well that is good but I realised it made up half my calories but it didn't bother me too much.
  • I got quizzed on the break up. I said I wasn't Katie Price and told my story to everyone willing to listen.
My friend did ask my guy friend out. Funny story actually. She went for a walk to the ATM machine with him. Everybody wasn't sure why she wanted to tag along since they don't know each other very well (seen each other 2 or 3 times o.O She is a fast worker xD) But I am assuming that she asked him out at some point on the journey because she was in a funny old mood for the rest of the day. I tried asking her but she wouldn't say anything just that she didn't think it was a very good idea. I asked him on the journey back to mine and he spilled the entire story. It's not something I would blog about but it made me giggle. I actually don't blame him for refusing because in all fairness she tosses blokes faster than new shoes! This girl needs to spend some time single. We all tell her that but she refuses to listen. Mmm I'm still tossed out at my calorie intake. I burned the same-ish amount off but still I wasn't hungry after around 400 calories in so why did I eat more? Sometimes I think it's because I want to appear normal but most of the time I refuse. Sometimes I confuse myself more than my ED confuses me. Life is a baffling thing. Okay it's been more than an hour since I put this stuff on my hair and I want to watch Two and a Half Men. It's not exactly going to make my hair come off right? It'd probably help it with all the recent dying it's endured. In the past 4 weeks it has been Red, Browny Red, Blonde and now a Brownish Blonde. I think that's it's colour. I haven't exactly seen it yet. All I know is it better look nice or I will find my way to *checks box* Surrey UK and beat their asses for making dodgy hair dye!! I'd have to take a map though. Not sure how much useful it would be though. I need a drink. I haven't drunk much today so I am off for... water. It seems to be one of the only things in my fridge. I need to go shopping lol. For food aswell as drinks this time. I went early and barely bought a thing. Because I am wicked cool like that. I realised how dumb I was and now have to endure another trip to Tesco's. Meh! M L xoXox

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Plaits, gym, coffee and ice cream

Plus sunshine. Can't forget the sunshine. Today hasn't been too bad actually. A little bit uncomfortable with the heat and lack of food plus exercising. It's one of them days where you would love to just relax but it's warm to the point of unbareable to want to do anything. I also hate the fact that the treadmill and bike I use in the gym is in front of the wondow. I swear with the laughing me and my friend were doing I'll either a) have an heart attack one day or b) fall off and carry on laughing. I suggest b to be the best answer. It'd probably hurt though seeing as though it's a wall further back behind the treadmills. I went shopping today. I have no idea what I orginally went for but I forgot it all the same. Ended up with more make up and rubbish like that. I swear my apartment is littered with the stuff. Orderly of course and not just anywhere but if I carry on buying it my apartment will look like they are going they are going to stage The London Fashion Week in my living room xD Can you imagine?... That would be awesome haha. I think tonight before bed I will watch a DVD. Not done that in a while. I normally fall asleep whilst listening to some news or politics rubbish. Might put Dirty Dancing on. Everybody loves that movie. And Patrick Swayze didn't look too bad in the movie. Could of had a better actress though. And "Baby"? Cheesey lol. But a bit of cheese once in a while is good =) Gosh gym, shopping, walking, internet, Starbucks and my friend are the only things I seem to do lately. Well I don't DO my friend... But you catch my drift. Ah I am so warm and tired. I'm wrapping this up because I have nothing interesting to say. Exercise:
  • 25 mins on treadmill
  • 22 mins cycling
  • 10 mins on this step thing
  • 20 mins weights
  • 65 mins walking
  • 1800 crunches
  • 1500 squats
  • A load of other exercises I learnt in dance

Calories burnt: 1906. I think I missed a few off but that's what Livestrong says I burnt off.

Food intake:

  • Bag of snaps 91 cals
  • Ice lolly 100 cals
  • 300 calories worth of fries =/ Grr

So that is it. I am outtie.

M L

xoXox

Monday, 21 June 2010

Sun and fun

We are having gorgeous weather here. It's so nice to wake up and it be sunny outside. Motivating too. I need to wake up early tomorrow so no late night for me... I said that last night too. Ended up in bed around 4am o.O So my exercise today:
  • 25 mins on treadmill
  • 20 mins on bike
  • 10 mins on this step thing
  • 15 mins doing weights
  • 500 crunches
  • 500 squats
  • 1.5 hours walking

I burnt 1154 calories I think. I'm not normally that motivated tbh. Sometimes I do the 2 hours in the gym plus walking obviously but nothing else.

Food intake:

  • 2 Apples 80 cals
  • Gum... around 5 or 7 cals I guess.

It's been a good day. Just realised this is probably the first time in quite a while I have focused straight on the ED side of things.

Never noticed how much of this blog is based on my life until now. It's pretty dull but my humour makes it shine =D Hehe!

But onto life things. I had my little coffee date this morning. Things went pretty well there. Stuck to my black coffee and iced tea. The small talk was alright too haha. It went smoothly anyway. Gym was pretty pathetic. I wanted to stay longer but I had to go and meet another friend unexpectedly so cut it short just after an hour. Going for 2 hours minimum my friend said tomorrow lol. He's soo cute and funny *pauses* Got swimming all this weekend too. Excited about that. I love swimming but not off to the baths where my gym is because it always has loads of kids so going to go to one around 25 minutes away.

Seeing David tomorrow. Said I would meet him in town a couple of hours before going to the gym. Not sure how that is going to go to be honest. But I am sure it will be fine.

Umm gosh did anything else even happen today. It's always rubbish on a Monday. I wish it was more exciting but it's annoying when everybody you know is either revising and busy, at work or going on vacation. Lucky them!! I wish my life was more exciting but it's a typical stereotype textbook one with a few out of the blue events in it.

I'm setting myself a little challenge too since I seem so motivated. I am challenging myself to lose 10lbs in 2 weeks. I'll keep tabs with a little thing on the side. So that is it for today. It's not been interesting in the slightest apart form me and my friend but nobody would understand our sense of interesting xD And I am outies. Think I am definitely going to have an early night tonight. It'll kill me if I don't Problem is it is still light outside even though it is nearly 10pm. Grrr.

M L

xoXox

Sunday, 20 June 2010

Normal? Normal is over-rated!

If my water came out of my bottle any slower I would die of thirst xD I always start this blog ages before I actually bother finishing it. I think it's just incase I forget to blog haha. Always handy because when it comes time to write it, it is basically the next day. So I spent most of today with my friend and her dad. My guy friend (I should prob start using his name but... ) tagged along later on aswell. He found out my nickname my friends dad gave me and her when we was younger. Ali-cat and... Do I have to say? Kay-bear. Cheesey right? SO now he is calling me Kay-Bear. Grr. Nicknames. They always come back and bit you in the arse! It didn't go back though. We ended up going to Starbucks and this one drink left my stomach in knots! I'm not even sure what it was but I won't be ordering it again. Got me out of eating though so that was pretty good. Her dad noticed a change but didn't become too vocal in his opinion. If I hadn't of clung to my guy friend like glue he would lol. Men! They aren't supposed to notice anything never mind get involved! My stomach is still a bit dodgy from that drink. I hate dairy. I hate people not remembering I can't have it "/ I hate not thinking to ask what it is. Either way it clears you out if you get my drift xD I am looking into the cost of getting micro dermals on my hips. I think it would be a good motivater to push me towards a weight. I was thinking 112 and then I would go and get it done. I'm not sure though because I did once say when I got to 126 I'd get a lip piercing and I haven't done. O.o I'm using the work excuse but that still isn't stopping me get my tattoos. I have many idea's on tattoos. And these I will never back out of. Damn I am craving a sugary drink. I always do when fasting. And I just kicked the coca cola addiction. I have no sugar free Red Bull either until the morning when shops open but by that time I will be at Starbucks and then the gym. I missed it lol. Only had one day off and I missed it. It's strange. I moan when I have to get out of bed and go but once I get close I get wayy excited lol. I could spend hours in there with a smile on my face. I've just got this feeling that things with certain people are going to come to an head this week. Especially with my friends dad. And a few other people. I don't want to deal with the confrontation. It's too stressful but thinking about it like this is stressful. I'm meant to be seeing Alex at some point tomorrow too. Oh my gosh. And David. I feel so bad but I'm not sure I can handle the David one. These are the things I forgot when being asked what I was doing tomorrow or would it be today since it's 01:30am? I just... ARGH!! I need to scream and let it out but I am not sure my neighbours will appreciate it xD Gosh. For one little person I have one BIG stressy life. I want a refund. I want a simple life. Normal but normal is over rated. But I shouldn't feel guilty about being close to another guy as a friend after a break up should I? I wonder if David asks himself this. Or if he just brushes it off like people think men do. Mmm it's worth asking him or my friend about. This as been the longest week ever in terms of a break up. And I haven't really blogged about it because I respect the trust we both had in the relationship. Plus it's not the easiet of things to talk about. So yeah =/ I should probably go to bed. I will fill in the blanks in the morning when I go on a coffee date. Nope not a date date just meeting my friend. Always nice I guess. M L xoXox

Saturday, 19 June 2010

Karma bit my arse!

This freaking picture is somehow bookmarked on my computer. Stupidest thing is it is bookmarked before this blog which is impossible to do since everything bookmarks at the left side of the screen. Karma you are an evil asshole! Nice thing to look at after eating wayy more than expected. Grr it is like a kick in the teeth. Glad my friend found it funny when I looked at it "/
Buying my new scale whenever I get paid this week. My pay is like the most unreliable thing ever. It's there when it is there!! Think I am going to buy these Weight Watcher ones from Argos. They look pretty neat =) And are silver! I am sold xD
I started this hours ago (since it is nearly 11pm) and couldn't be bothered finishing it up. I don't think I will ever get this finished. I keep getting distracted and am talking on the phone, typing on PrettyThin, and writing this. My brain can't take it all in! It does have limited space you know xD But on the otherhand, that side of my brain that works perfectly has managed to apply for 5 jobs this week. Actually in 2 days. I cba half the time lol but I really should get more motivated because it means I go do more shopping because I'll have more money. And I lurvve shopping.
Okay it's 1am so I better get going with this. I ate more than I wanted today because I spent the beginning of the day with friends. So I'm classing it as a binge simpily because of the amount of calories I had. It bugs me cos once somebody says something about my eating once I am not around them it makes me want to eat more. I know it's daft but I can't help it. I'm a weirdo like that but it's cool. So that was my first binge in... Ahh I can't call it a binge! I just mentally can't because I didn't even go over 1200 calories. My brain is kicking itself right now! But it was the first time I have gone over 1000 in like ages! I don't even remember the last time I ate this much. I don't like feeling full.
But tomorrow is my fast day. Sundays are my new fast days because they are the days I don't go to the gym. Then again I do go to the gym without eating so fasting and gym aren't too bad as long as I have more than just water. I can't run on water. God knows how other people do but I guess if you aren't very busy it's possible. But I get sick of the taste of it after a while. It's pretty rank unless flavoured which reminds me I ran out of water...
So... oh crap. Tomorrow is my fast day and I am spending most of it with my best friend and her dad for Fathers Day. Ugh. I mean I want to go but damn lol. Means an early morning on my day off from the gym. I can always get out of eating around my friends dad. I mean we never normally eat anyway because they eat pretty late like I claim to too. That shouldn't be a problem. It'll be more about doing something fun. The Wii is always hilarious. We end up looking like morons. An dpictures get taken but they are pretty sorted and not the run straight to Facebook type of people. So I won't end up looking like a muppet online and have to rush to take the tags out of pictures xD
I better go to bed. It's half past 1. I'm not tired but at least I can try rather than spend more time writing this out. I mean I started 6 hours ago or something ridiculously stupid like. I best go. Before I end up... I dunno. Tired?
I'm sure I missed a load of things out but I'll recap some point tomorrow.
M L
xoxox

Friday, 18 June 2010

Football and gym... Oh and a few laughs too =D

So I woke up pretty late today. I think it had something to do with the fact I was on the phone chatting and texting until after 5am o.O So much for that early night hey? But I woke up at 9am. I stopped and looked at that and realised 9am isn't late to most people but to me anything after 7:30am is late. Anyway... Ugh I just read something that makes me want to put my head through the wall... Today. It's not been too bad. Was at the gym for 2 hours earlier. I don't think we would have stayed so long if we hadn't gotten into the footy match. America soo totally shoulda won 3-2. Crappy ref or what?? Sticking up for a country in which I am not from. Oh well come on England you lazy fat twats! Kick the ball into the goal. not too difficult right?? Anyhow Germany is going to win anyway!! But yeah I enjoyed the gym. Back again tomorrow after a early morning run. Not done that in quite a while. I think back before I broke my leg was the last time. So it about time I got off my arse and went. Ha draw! So much for our national sport!! Why is webs so retarded? Oh that reminds me of what we was talking about in the gym. I was just stepping in the treadmill (why do funny things happen on that thing?) and one of the guys in the guy came over to me and my friend (he works there too) and asked if we had breakfast. Not straight away but eventually. So we said yeah (great liar I am). He asked what. I thought wtf?? So I said a bacon sandwich. Doh! He said "thought you was a veggie?" That was creepy lol. I said "Ever heard of Quorn?" I saved my own bacon there lol. Still that was creepy what he remembered about me from my form thing last week o.O I don't even remember him. *Gasps* Maybe I have a stalker? Haha pmsl. Me and my friend kept on joking around anyway. I ended up calling him stupid. He called me 'challenged' sarcastic fuck. So I said "I know I am mentally challenged but you Sir, are a retard!" It was pretty funny. Me and him get on pretty well. But NOT dating like people seem to think. Meh! Would I? He wouldn't be a bad rebound guy would he now xD No I never admitted that and wouldn't do it. Narr. Sooo... what else? I'm too distracted by trying to figure out why PrettyThin doesn't work. Oh I have to apply for lots of jobs to avoid going back to college to do some useless crap. It's not guarenteed I don't have to go but I'm aiming not to. Stuff it. I hate people notciing and getting involved when I lose weight. Alex does it all the time. It's soo annoying because I know I am going to see him tomorrow and since I am not 145lbs anymore and under 126lbs I know the dopey, well he isn't but is, guy will noticed. Gym clothes =D They aren't exactly fitting anyway lol. I'm off for a shower anyway. And then bed. I need sleep and to see clean water haha. My hair still smells rank too. Blah. Not good. Plus need to weigh myself tomorrow. Would of been better if I had managed to find new scales but I guess dial ones will do. M L xoxox

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Yap, Yack, Meh, Blah, Yeah that!

Today has gone pretty fast. Gym? Done. Meetings? Done. Met my friend? Done. Convinced people I am not going back to college? Nahh. Can't do everything you know!? ;) I am pretty beat. Travelling, hot weather, gym and barely eating take it's tole (toll? F it!) after a while. Just pyshically shattered. Supposed to be doing a deep conditioning of my hair tonight but even though it's not long after 6pm I think I am going to have a really early night and get up early and do it. I'm losing interest in it all in a way. I get up, spend all day/most of the day with my guy friend or someone, go to the gym, occassionally swim, shop, have a joke, use PrettyThin, text and the usual stuff. It takes up the day nearly but it's... dull lol. And D is doing my head in. In a nice way of putting it. How can one person not stop texting all day and expect a reply in 2 milliseconds? Pretty mad in my opinion. And today I am pretty confused over things. In real life and the sorts. *gasps* Yes I do actually have a life =P Stepping back from a few things. Oh and scales are truelly screwed. Not the battery it's the thing it'self. Guess that's what you get when you leave them in the bathroom with a walk in shower lol. Buying a new pair tomorrow though so I am a lil more confident in that. Think I will remove them from the bathroom when finished with the this time xD M L xoxox

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Meh!...

So I know I said I would update with my boring life today but I am halfway through dying my hair and cba. Plus I am doing my friends hair so not much time to go into things. He's a guy btw lol.
Plus I am feeling pretty unmotivated to finish things up right now. And I am pretty shattered from working out earlier.
Oh and they want me to go back to college. Ha! Screw the Lord above! There is no chance of that. It'll be pretty impossible managing the exams I am going to be starting with work plus whatever crap they want me to do. This state is pretty fucked up in my opinion. Got to go for an interview thing again tomorrow at 10am. 10 bloody am! I am normally at the gym at that time. Stuff it.
Blah blah blah.
Eating was pretty good.
Gym was fine.
Nearly died laughing at these guys trying to act tough.
Swear I nearly came off the treadmill xD
Oh and I am going from brown/red to blonde. It's pretty darn blonde atm. Going to go a little bit darker. I have a picture of me with brown hair I have decided to put up. Why not aye? Don't judge. I only had eyeliner and mascara on lol. Oh and believe it or not that is how naturally straight my hair is yet I still use GHDs. And it was first thing in a morning. Alright I can't think up many other excuses so this is me out for tonight. I'll properly blog... at some point. No point making promises that can be broken.
M L
xoxox

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

At least I have consistency...

Ha I have just realised the one thing I am consistent in lately is being tired haha. Last night I said I was going to bed early and then didn't fall alseep until 4am. So I am consistent in at least one thing. Today has been a little... meh! Could of been better. Could of been worse. Either way I am guarenteed to go to sleep and wake up to it all again. Life hey? Not the easiest thing us humans get given ;) So yeah I think very soon I am going to get under my duvet and watch Two and A Half Men whilst going to sleep. This is really early for me. I am shocking myself lol. Then again if I am going to the gym twice tomorrow I am going to try and get 8 hours sleep. Plus I wanna get up early (ha! Gym is open at 7am and I'm off then =) to download more songs. seriously I haven't got enough. I want to fill this iPod up. It's basically as big as my iPhone. I think I have an addiction to Apple products o.O So yeah not very interesting is it? Then again i never put down everything that I did today. I'll do a big catch up tomorrow night whilst I am dying xD Things with David are pretty good. Friends are taking it the wrong way like. Yes perfect doesn't mean you should stay together. Oh and no I am not having an affair with this gym instructor now friend. Do I intend to? How can it be an affair when I am flying solo? Seriously some people make me laugh with the level of stupidity they have acquired over the years xD Things with the new friend above are going okay. Things with Caitlin... Calling David Cameron and getting an answer would be easier like!! And yeah. Things with people are complicated as usual. Update tomorrow anyway. Oh my god my neighbour is a spacker!! Seriously that laugh was demented/retarded/special. That's what you get for leaving your windows open. Then again you can hear her with them closed. M L xoxox

Monday, 14 June 2010

Short and Sweet(ish)

I am tired. I am confused. I am feeling meh! I am kind of sad. I am really not in the mood. And I am off to bed (soon). I stayed under 300 cals. And I spent 2 hours at the gym. I spent most of my day with my guy friend. It was no big deal. But it was a big deal. Some people thought it was. Some people need to get a life though. Some people need to grow the f*&$ up! Some people need to realise I will do the things they say to spite them *evil laugh!!* On a good note to end this on: I was the skinniest person in the gym (says something about the people in it doesn't it? xD) My friend is staying over. (Baring in mind it is now nearly 20 past 12 o.O) And... I'm off to the gym tomorrow? Yeah that's all I've got. Oh crap I forgot laundry again... bless the noisy git upstairs that will hear the washing machine for a couple of hours ;) Hmm and if any firefighters want to check my fire alarm in the morning at 07:30am I'm not opening the door. I rarely cook so what's the chances of me burning the house down?? Plus it's an electric cooker o.O M L xoxox

Sunday, 13 June 2010

What the...

They rewrote the thingy on Anorexia? Well not offically on the DSM IV thing but isn't saying you don't have to be underweight or hell even a regular weight but you can be overweight and Anorexic? Isn't that discrediting a serious mental illness? A sign or Anorexia Nervosa is a refusal to maintain an "healthy" body weight so being 100lbs, hell even 200lbs overweight, cannot come under Anorexia! I agree it is an eating disorder. I wouldn't tell somebody they didn't have an ED but it's not Anorexia Nervosa unless you are medically underweight. Stupid arsed people rewriting things just to suit the needs of others. Why the fuck does EDNOs offend people so much? I don't give a damn being medically diagnosed EDNOs. It's no less serious then Anorexia. I seriously I don't get this stupid country! The polititions all need to be... pushed off of London bridge! I'm saying that bridge cos I can't remember any others in London lol. My friend said I should write to David Cameron but my sense of humour wouldn't translate well on paper xD But even if this offends anybody you can't be Anorexic until you have a bmi of 17.5 or under. Medically speaking. That is what we (ie me and other medical professionals) are trained to know. That is what I believe in. That is what I will always believe in. Anyway I must say thanks to Emry. Cos you are sweet and write little comments on here every now and again. Gah I am getting into Desperate Housewives again. Just as I ween myself off of television. But I think I am going to go to bed because I feel sick from lack of food lol. Or I am going to call my new friend. He shall always warrant the name new friend because I shan't tell anybody his name!! Hehe. Notice how I am trying to stay away from discussing D? Oh my gosh before I go. My ex before D, I'll name him, Ashley is engaged to my ex friend! My heart sunk a little bit whilst reading it on Facebook. He text me saying so too. 1) How the fuck did he get my new number??! and 2) Wtf did he want me to say? Congrat-a-fucking-lations?? He wants me to go. Bahaha sorry but it's super ironic they get engaged on the day me and D break up. Grr. I swear if I go I will either wear black to depress the fucker or bright orange to match his hair!!! I am such a bitch. Na'Night. M L xoxox

Riding Solo

We did it. Over coffee. How cliche lol. And Pixie Lott Turn it up is the break up song lol. Ironic that Starbucks was playing that xD Even he said he had noticed we have been living as friends. I mean the intimacy is there but... It was pretty nice that things ended nicely for a change. Unless, like my 2 exes he runs off with one of my best friends. Then I will kick his arse lol xD Decided not to go to the gym today. I just... Not in the mood really. I want to but I didn't even wash my stuff last night lol. I spent time on PrettyThin and then went to bed. Going to have dinner in a little bit. Never understood the whole eating early but whatever! Going for a walk later on so happy about that. Need to find some jeans to go in though. Off with my new friend =) Aye it's a guy but me and girls never seem to click. So I have done my 500 crunches for today. Need to do my squats now. Lord give me strength!! Weight is really weird on mechanical scales so have ordered some digital ones and am picking them up on Wednesday. But either way I have lost nearly 20lbs since... when did I break my leg... March? Something like that. So am pleased about that but will be happier when I can say I have lost 30 etc. And that is me for now. A little bit confused. A little bit sad. A little bit happy. A little bit of everything!! M L xoxox

Saturday, 12 June 2010

It's like chores

I better get a start on this blog before heading off to bed if I can sleep. I'm in the chore mindset when I am thinking of writing this. Hey I want to go to bed? Despite my 6hr rest after the gym and swimming. Why did I have to do it in two trips? It would of been totally easier to go to the gym and then the pool rather than doing the crappy load of walking in between it all. Bloody legs are killing me. Glad I am not off to the gym until like 2 or 3pm. Gives me more time to sleep. I need to go to the bank in the morning too. Meh! I'd rather not. I can't even remember why I need to go anymore tbh. For money obviously! I swear sometimes I am so thick but I'll use the excuse of I am thinking a lot atm. I need to do my hair in the morning cos swimming makes it feel so horrible. So yeah. Shower, bank and then dinner and gym. Think dinner will be tiny because I cba with it. Oh and I have to talk to D. We spoke on the phone and we both realised it. It's harder than I thought it would be. I thought things would be simple but it's... not. It's just ugh!! I'm not posting about it on here. It's a bit... it feels wrong that everyone else knows about it rather than just me and D. So I have written lol and am going to finish up things and go to bed. I seriously am tired. Oh and I ate 294 calories today. God knows how many I burnt though. M L xoxox

Friday, 11 June 2010

Too tired to think...

Of an entertaining title. I would rather be in bed right now but I have a few things to do before I can do that but I am definitely going to bed before 22:30pm. So yah. I'm trying to kick the insomnia and get more sleep. Plus I have the gym at 09:30am in the morning so need sleep!! I look very summery today. A light yellow t shirt and denim shorts. Very cool lol. Spent over an hour at the gym earlier. Would of stayed longer but I got talking to... my trainer... not going to say his name on here, well because... because I don't want to. A girl needs some secrets in life ;) I make it sound so miscievious =P But I got talking to him and finished up after around 1hr 20 minutes. He taught me how to do weights lol. I've never bothered with them before but they aren't bad y'know! I still love me treadmill though. Anyway. Notice how I always say anyway or anyhow? Anyw... haha. Bad habit but at least it isn't swearing or something. I couldn't handle that one. But moving swiftly on. Me and D seem to be moving more towards the friend stage again. It's funny when you can both see it but not admit it to each other. It's going to have to be sorted but I don't want to =/ I thought I could but I can't. It seemed pretty easy when I first thought it but... I don't... I'm not sure. I will always be his friend even if it kills me and I feel pretty wrong blogging this. We're the perfect couple. That picture perfect relationship but perfect isn't working. I hate situations like this. I deal with them. It's what I do. It's the only thing I know how to do. Sometimes, sometimes... sometimes we need to do things differently. Branch out. Explore. Anyway it's nearly 23:00 and I have to be up early and I have a lot on my mind and I need to think so Na'Night. M L xoxox

Thursday, 10 June 2010

I feel quite confused tbh

So it went well at the gym (of a sort) and pool. Jeez I forgot how bad the water is in the swimming pool on your hair. And lets not get started when you swallow it o.O It did go a bit tits up whilst doing the induction part though. I have a sort of trainer. He's just there and I did most of the hour and half with him. Aye I am aware that sounds wrong but I can't think of any other way to word it. David and Amy did it with a different guy. But anyway we was laughing around and talking like you would do (come on I'll be going daily. I have to speak to him at least once!) And D seemed to just... I don't know. Not like it? When we went out to get a drink, we didn't talk and Ashley said it wasn't right me acting like I was with another guy whilst dating D. Wtf right?? I can't talk to a guy because I am dating somebody? God I wanted to drown the bitch! Fortunately I went swimming alone because I swear it's wayy to easy to hold somebody under the water. I honestly can't say I want to stay in a relationship where I can't feel 100% comfortable. I mean don't get me wrong I love him and we are great friends but I think maybe we pushed it when we turned it into a relationship. I don't know. My friend said you always know whether something will last after 6 months. Well it's been 9 and if you had asked me 4 months ago whether this would last I would of said yes but now... especially after these past few weeks... I'm unsure. I can't say I would be devasted down in the dumps if we did break up. And even if I was I'd never tell anybody haha. Maybe we was just meant to be friends? But off guy topic and my love life lol =P I feel quite good. Apart from that incident I enjoyed myself today and am feel pretty darn good. It's a change right xD I had 440 + 138 calories soo... 578 calories. I don't know how many I burnt like but still it's alright. So I am off to chill out and relax and prepare for tomorrow morning at the gym and pool. Actually enjoy it so I'll keep it up. And thank god no boyfriend and asshole of his mate to piss me off. Gotta say they did motivate me to do longer on the bike and treadmill xD M L xoxox

No blog in two days

Shocking aye? I've barely been on PrettyThin though either so don't feel too neglected haha. Gosh now I have to recap. I'm not good at that unless my days have been spectacular and they haven't as such been that. So Tuesday. What did I do? I think I went to lunch with my friends. We ended up ordering pasta but it was coated in this sause with was disgusting. Wouldn't of minded but I was frigging starving. So in the end I only had the smallest amount ever. I came back home and ended spending my day how I normally spend it. Texting, listening to music and chatting away on PrettyThin. Yesterday. Do I remember? It was a great day! I went shopping, found out everything about my gym membership (bleeding hate changing gyms. I was with this weird one but now because I want to switch to Virgin I have to do the induction again. Grr.), bought amazing trainers. That's a big thing for me to say because I rarely rarely buy trainers. Last time I properly bought trainers for something besides running and gym was when I was 7 years old and doing football throughout school. Seriously. I lived my dance and that classes with them McKenzie pump things. God stfu D!! Jeez anybody would think muttering and that crap is tolerable whilst sleeping. It's freaking not. And you are doing my box in lol. I want to hold your mouth together do you know that? Anyway moving on from my attempting to kill somebody plan. So after buying my trainers and some gym clothes I went to McDonalds with D and some other people that he mainly knows apart from Lauren who I know. McDonalds is always pretty safe for me because I'm vegetarian and that rules everything bar salad and fries out. Oh and milkshakes. Funny story about that in a minute. But I ended up getting fries because I didn't want to be the super healthy one. D's friends said I am "so cute!" and "funny" which sort of bothered me. Cute is something I refer to myself as but I definitely don't want other people to say it outloud even if they think it and funny? Sweetheart it's called "being sarcastic" which I pointed out to them which made them laugh. Funny and cute? Why not funny and pretty? When I think cute I think me in my school uniform and with my hair and make up nicely done and even then I got called pretty. I did get stunning this morning when I accidentally sent a picture to everyone in my phonebook lol. I just didn't expect cute when I was getting on to nearly 18 and look... mature? Maybe it's because I was dressed like... well a teenager? Haha. Oh god even I laugh at myself! Bad times xD Ooh my computer is magentic on ones side =O freaky =P So I am ringing the gym when it opens. 10 minutes I think and seeing when I can book an innduction for me and Davey =) Am in a positive and good mood today. Makes a change from fine and not too bad =D First though I have to find my phone. It is with my iPod. Both are big and black so shouldn't be too hard to find. Ha! M L xoxox

Monday, 7 June 2010

No sleep (again)

I am beat. Seriously if I could sleep and not wake up but not be dead I'd do it. I had 3 hours today and then had to go out and then when I got back I tried to sleep again but the neighbour arose with her megaphone mouth and low and behold I couldn't. So I am writing this whilst half cut. Red Bull isn't doing the job so I think I will head to bed after writing this and sleep it out so I better not take forever like I normally do =P I really want to go and see StreetDance at the cinema. David wants to see A Nightmare on Elm Street. He's nearly 20. I'm 17. I can easily see 18 rated movies but I know too many people at the cinema I like. And the one in the city centre is f'ed up. I personally don't like it plus it is freezing! They have air conditioning on 24/7 at full blast! At least the one near the TV studios is lovely and warm =) Warmth is essential if you are going to spend 2hrs+ watching a movie. I remember going to see 2012 at my normal cinema and it was lovely to sit in a comfy chair albeit near some giggling guys, who have clearly never seen a woman before!, in a warm cinema. Good movie I must say. I'd promote it haha =P So we are at a standstill. He comes to see my movie and I will go with him. I don't see us drawing a truce though even though I want to see the movie he does. It's about the principals lol. I am not standing down and nor will he. Guess it'll be find someone else to go who will actually watch it and not be an annoying arse or wait for the DVD. I am opting the latter option is more viable. Men! Me! Meh! So can you believe I buy my gym membership the day after tomorrow? I mean I couldn't care less right now but I am guessing I will more when I am more... sociable. Have to get a passport picture for the badge thing. Meh! Could do without my ugly mush on a badge xD But whatevers. I have a slim face so I can deal with it. Just have to decide whether to wear my glass on the pic or not. Slimmer face but I look totally different without them on. To the point people on the ward I used to work on didn't recognise me and walked past me when I went to work with contacts o.O If this neighbour doesn't fall down the stairs I am going to push her. I mean besides the fact she's louder than a bowing 747, her dialect isn't even capable of being understood! It's like "rabvi divbelo flw3bv elbf uhu!!!" I shoulda put in caps because you could hear her from 2 blocks away at the minimum xD She was talking to a police officer earlier and they straight got told to shut up! By me btw. Loud ass yobs! Pretty good looking police officer if I must say so though ;) I just love the fact in her typical screamo type voice she told him not to tell the guy 2 doors down that she called the cops on his ass. Now that made me nearly fall off my bed xD Picture the scenario: She's outside J's house chatting to the police, he's stood at his door, she tells them not to say anything and then they go to talk to him. Pure classy genius that is. And that ladies and gentlemen is why I live on the upper class lets say richer and a heck of a lot nicer part of Leeds. I'll take the obsene rent at times to avoid the proper slack munters from this side of Leeds. Ah I feel better now about ranting their asses out. M L xoxox

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Totally rushed

Today has been one of them days where you just want to do absolutely nothing yet have a ton of things to do. I had to go and order a ton of stuff for Wednesday, look for a bikini (found on but don't have my size till next week. Typical.), and I can't be bothered going through everything else I did. All I know is I didn't really rest until around 23:30 and by that time the day is over and I hadn't eaten. Or drunk anything apart from a huge ass can of sugar free Red Bull. I really need to remember to drink more liquids. Especially if active and not eating o.O Soo last night. Gosh I really have to think hard to remember. I had a few mates over and we ended up having pizza and a few other things. I hate how we nearly always end up eating unhealthy food. But I got over that. Had fun watching Mock the Week reruns lol. They ended up leaving at like 12:30am or something stupid but M has a car so drove them all back. I enjoy spending time with my friends but with more than half of them it always revolves around food. Weird huh? Why is food so important when spending time with other people? And back to today. Well technically it was today when they left but lets not get technical at this time of night. So yeah my day was really busy and I managed to survive ;) M L xoxox

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Grrr!!

Don't it just annoying you when people pretend to be something they are not?? There is one girl on my Facebook (It will be the thing that sends me into a psych ward lol xD) who I will call KL cos I cba mentioning who she is is a supposed self harmer but now claiming to eat 58 calories a day but hasn't got an eating disorder. She doesn't because I know her. It's so strange that you would post your calorie content on Facebook. But then again she posts everytime she cuts. Reminds me of another person. I am sure they are the same one lol. I just would never post what I am eating on a social networking site. I have ED friends, family and regular friends on Facebook. I wouldn't put it on there. It's attention seeking but she is besties(...?) with D so what can I expect? I have quite a lot to do today. I am quite tired too. Ugh I hate food shopping when tired. I end up agreeing to buy whatever when I go with David or friends. That leads to eating more than I want. Not binging because that is more than 2000 calories to me. Then again last time I went shopping I came home with hair dye instead xD But I don't need hair dye this time because I finally dyed it. It's gone from bright red to chocolate brown with a tint of red in it =) It looks pretty awesome to tell you the truth! Needs cutting but I can hold of on that longer. I have done since before christmas lol. Trying to grow the thing out. It's about 4 or so centimetres under my collar bones now. Makes a change from about 2 above it lol. Why is it hairdressers always take too much off? I think kthey are trained to do so tbh. xD I should probably go and get ready. Not off to Tescos until about 5pm so hopefully I will be feeling more alive. That sleep I had yesterday I could of done with today. At least not many people are texting today. I hate it when a million people text me when I am super tired. Makes me a bit irritable lol. Anyway I need to get on with my day. M L xoxox

Friday, 4 June 2010

I slept my day away and I enjoyed it!

First time I have done that in a while. I guess the constant barely sleeping is catching up on me. Oh my gosh that rain is horrendous! Blimey I won't be going out in the morning. In the rain it isn't bad but when it's drying up you do fall on your ass lol. So my day probably ended at 15:00 this afternoon and began again at 22:00 =) and quintessentially nothing majorly exciting happened. Not eating was probably the one thing I did do today. No exercise though. Tbh I'd rather just sleep lol. So that is it. My day in 10 or 11 sentences. How boring. How dull. How... normal lol. M L xoxox

Thursday, 3 June 2010

I've come to the conclusion...

...That people on Facebook are mean hearted bitches! It's quite funny when you think about it. The arguments people have on there are so pathetic but they take it so serious. Ahh it's like Jeremy Kyle bahaha!! Also people that say something quite serious and with a meaning but then go back on it when asked about it. That is really annoying. So they Irish Muppet, stand ya ground for once! Anyway onto the better things =P I was out with a few friends today. Work friends but we are pretty close. We have such a laugh together which is always fun. At first we all went to grab a drink from Starbucks. I think they are getting rich off me xD We were having the most random conversations. I asked what BP (as in the gas thing) stood for and David said British Petrol. I thought he was being a bit up himself lol so I walked in the petrol station and asked... We all know what BP stands for now xD We had lunch in this nice little cafe/restaurant. I did eat quite a lot but I was okay with that. We decided to spend a few hours in the park after that just relaxing because it was quite a nice day. It was quite nice. We played a bit of footy and basketball. Haven't played that in ages. I had fun. Did I really say that? Haha =) After that me and David split from our friends and spent the rest of the afternoon goofing around lol. We went out for dinner later on and it was a 3 course and totally calorie laden. My entire days calorie intake came to probably about 2000. I just tried to not let it bother meh. Oh gosh reading NightmareOfAPromQueen's posts are making me wanna use meh instead of me lol. We met up with a few different friends too for a few drinks. Aye it's awesome living in a busy city and being with older people cos you never get ID'd. It's amazing lol. So that was my day. I'm sure I could of added a lot more but all I really can think of is I had fun and enjoyed myself. Not done that properly in a while so I liked it =D Oh yeah and I tried to find some new scales. Mine are so off it's unbelievable but couldn't really find a decent set so I'll look again next week when I am on my own and no-one is watching me. M L xoxox

I'm a... fool?

I seriously think that is what my friends think I am. It's really getting to me now. Most of the people I went to school with just... well there is a reason people are called Facebook and MSN friends. The people I once spent everyday with and people thought we were besties seem to have difted apart from me. It wouldn't bother me apart from the ones I was super close to. Maybe I drive people away. It's not like I am so into my Eating Disorder that I don't think or care about people. Hey I kick the gym or whatever to hang around with my friends. If they want to me to go out for lunch I'll go. I still live my life. My friend Dawn said maybe I intimidate them with my job and my career/education goals. I don't think I do but Dawn is older than me (She's a staff nurse and super nice!) and said she went through a similar thing. I think it's pretty sad that people just change because you don't want to spend the rest of your life jobless, on the dole and living in a council house. It is nice to not just do the same as everybody else. Like most of the girlies I know all went to study hair and beauty or child care. Choose your own career not follow the trend to fit in. The job thing might be intimidating because of the wage and hours I work but it's pretty similar to them in sixth form or college. They are there 6 hours a day plus studying after. Well meant to. So I am probably a fool. I just, I dunno deal with the fact everybody is changing and not including me. Even when I make an effort to engage with them. So yeah I is a fool. But at least I'm not thick lol. I just don't always want to deal with something as soon as it happens. On other more exciting news gym and swimming in 6 days =D =/ =) M L xoxox

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Not a very typical but quite typical day

Today was pretty awkward. I went to Costa (yes I admit. I am addicted to coffee shops.) without the lappy and was minding myown business texting people and I saw an ex. Now we are still pretty good friends even if we only text or tak on Facebook/MSN most of the time. So we said the normals "how are you blah blah blah." and it turned really weird. I don't know why as such but I just wanted to leave. I was kind of glad he left before David got there. So I did a 30 jog this morning. Them things are a little slow for my liking. I mean I always want to go faster and it turns into a run. But I kind of managed it. I've got that Edelweiss or however the hell you spell it stuck in my head. The way Julie Andrews sings it too so an opera type of thing. Blooding driving me mental lol. Oh and "The rine in spine stays minely in the pline" You sound Australian saying the rain in spain stays mainly in the plain like the first way. M L xoxox

Tuesday, 1 June 2010

It is June

I'd best get the first blog of the month done =) Okay so like an hour after I started. Make that 2 now xD
So today I pretty much did nothing.
Apart from have a meal.
Ugh but it could of been worse I guess. I had Quorn chicken, rice and a few chips.
It was a bit strange to already have it cooked though.
Davids mum puts too much thought into it but w/e.
I got quite wet going there.
Coming back was bloody worse.
I swear today is the first day of summer!! Not... actually no todays weather is perfect summer weather.
I'm not going to finish this post at this rate lol =D
I did do a mini workout this morning though so all is not bad but at this rate I will not be under 126 by the time I go to the gym.
It's actually the 2nd of June now xD
I keep forgetting to write this. I'm too distracted by PT and my iPod.
Oh my god! I am having the most random telephone call with David.
He said what would you do if 6 people were sat on you?
I said I would go for the one closest and bite him on the arse! xD
Haha I am still laughing at the thought
It's escalated into his pets (he has 2 cats like me =D)
If they died or rather when they die do they lose bodily functions like humans?
Because they sometimes sleep on his bed and he is worried.
Oh my God I am dying!
Bahaha funniest convo we've had in quite a while.
I am literally crying with laughter xD
So tomorrow I am challenged to burn 600 calories =) I can do that =)
And that is all I have because it's hard to type and talk on the phone. Well speaker is on but yeah so...
M L xoxox