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Saturday, 27 February 2010

Right

I have decided to put a name on all the things I think I may/do have. Am no doctor but work in an hospital so know a lot about these things. Not to mention I live with them so yeah. Anyway it'll be helpful to have a list of problems that at some point I can bring up with my doctor when I decide I want to. Anorexia Nervosa with Bulimic Tendencies: Yep definitely would agree to that. OCD: Everything has to be perfect. My body, my house. Can't live in a mess or anything plus obsessive with washing my hands, HATE odd numbers (seriously can't deal with them) do everything I do daily at set times and a range of other things. I have obsessions with lots of things like violently hurting myself etc (ie the foot wink wink) BDD: I can literately convince myself I am a size 14 when am actually an 8. It's madness plus a little bit like OCD. Obsess over certain body parts for example, my hair. It has to be perfect! Not normal, not ordinary but perfect. That's why I dye it so often. I'm obsessed with my teeth too. They aren't white enough or straight enough. My nose is horrible. Because my mum is black but my daddy is white it's just stuck between them two types of noses. I would definitely have a nose job if I had the money. I'd book it tomorrow without a doubt. My skin is disgusting. I seriously have to cover it up with foundation and concealer and make up in general. It's so horrid and lets not get started on feet. Just one word. GROSS!! Depression: story of my freaking short life! I think a lot of it is from the Eating Disorder but it's also from the BDD too. It could also be to do with all the bullying in primary and high school. In my opinion a lot of my problems stem from bullying. PTSD: Well a lot of things have happened in my past that would contribute to this. From a really young age really. Have had physical and emotional abuse from so many people that would contribute to this. Suicidal: No more needs to be said :-P Self Harm: Cutting, breaking bones, scratching, eating disorder, over exercising etc etc. Mood changes: Seriously can be super happy moment and then so angry and violent. Bipolar: I just googled it for the sake of it and it would describe the mood changes and severe depression following each other all the time. Wow I could go on but I'd seem fucked up XD Mucho Love xoxox

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