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Saturday, 13 February 2010

Mwah!

Weight: 139.5lbs Mood: Determined and VERY Confused! It's Saturday now and I didn't do half of the things I wanted to do yesterday. Most of what I did was sleep lol. Didn't manage to fast either but had like 650ish calories which is alright :-) Feeling back on track and heading in the right direction which is great :-D Joe has only just gone to bed and it is half past four in the morning so will probably wait until around 5:30am to start exercising though I could maybe start at 5am ish. I think I will start at 5. Got a busy day planned today so looking forward to it. Need to write a list in a few minutes as to what I am going to buy. Would love to fucking smack Joe in the mouth she is such an annoying bitch!!! Okay haven't said this to anybody at all but I have this sneaking suspicion that one of my bestest friends I have met through Facebook that has ED may be fake. I got a bunch of weird text messages from her about committing suicide which isn't anything new but like today I ended up getting one text message back saying " Shez not good baby" and then the second one said " She gone to sleep dunt tell err I text yaz she wunt know az got free texts lmao. Huz diz anway? You meet her at college? I don't quite know what to make of it tbh. I trust well I did, still kind of do but now I just am confused. She was somebody I considered closer than my friends who I don't really see and this has kind of changed that. I know she complains a lot well a hell of a lot but I never considered her to be a fake. I'm just so confused and my head is everywhere atm :-( I want her to text in the morning saying she is fine but I think now my trust and confidence in her has kind of just vanished. It'll take me time before I think of her in the same way and even then I am not sure I ever will again. It's such a shame. Why does everybody seem to be fake or be lying about things? I mean especially an Eating Disorder and Self Harm and Suicidal Thoughts. I just don't get it at all! maybe I have blown this all out of preportion and she is telling the truth and it was Kel that text me last night but how will I ever know? She's not the person I thought she was and that hurts ='( Mucho Love xoxox

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