Monday, 4 January 2010

Change of plan

Well huge change of plan. I majorly fucked up today. I never went to Tescos, am tomorrow, and ended up sleeping most of the day. You may ask "so how was that bad?" Well I'll tell you how! I woke up around 9pm after 8 hours sleep and to my amazement still wasn't hungry even after no food. Then 30 minutes later my auntie decided to order pizza! Fml! Feel so full and bloated. Am going to weigh myself in a couple of hours and see what the impact of this stinking holiday season has been. Seriously though fml. Need to see a decent change by the 23rd of January. It's my 17th and I want to look half decent. I have the number of weight I need to lose by then in my head and if I don't... well hell knows!! My shopping list for tomorrow: Apples and lots of them! Flavoured water. That's my weeks food. Maybe a vegetarian meal every so often. On other news. I am going shopping for things for my house this week :-D Am really excited. Need to call British Gas too to sort the electricity out so can start painting. Already chose the colours and everything. Looking forward to not having anybody go on at me for eating and having the freedom to go out running whenever I want to. It's exhilarating tbh. Scary though. How far will Anorexia control my life without anybody interfering? Will it go too far? Will I end up in hospital? I guess the answer I want to believe is it will only go as far as I want it to but I know that probably isn't true. I am 5ft 6in roughly. My goal weight is 87lbs. It seems like such a long way away and it is to me. It's going to be hard. I am going to have to push myself hard. I already am aiming to lose 6lbs this week with my fast and 1 hour minimum exercise morning and night. I have set myself a 4 week limit to get to 110lbs. Shouldn't be the hardest thing I have ever done but it will be a challenge especially with my birthday in the middle of it. But I shall do it. Without a doubt I will. *Have lots more to add but I have to go out lol even if it is 4.25am!* Mucho Love xoxox

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